No leg to stand on

Next time you’re tempted to think travelling for work is a glamorous perk … don’t.

DD left my place at 6.15am on Sunday morning to travel to the US. He arrived at his hotel around 2pm on Monday.

It took three flights to get him there, via Tokyo and Chicago, as that was the most cost-effective route.

He spent 45 minutes in a queue at US immigration and about the same time in a security line for his internal flight.

He was shattered.

It was around midnight local time when his body finally touched a bed. He got up around seven hours later to plough through a week of meetings.

He will turn around and do the trip again in less than a month.

I. Could. Not. Hack. It.

I’m having enough trouble hacking him being away on the business trips.

Things have been equally frustrating on the home front.

I took the youngest to get her $7000 braces and rang my ex afterwards to say: “Do you want the bad news or the bad news?”

Soooooo … the youngest didn’t get braces because the orthodontist needed to make a mould of her teeth and she has to get a baby tooth removed first.

I could have sworn that when I visited the reception last week they checked her records and said: “All good to go! Just bring your $7000 and she’ll be right!”


The youngest was FURIOUS because she faces intense social embarrassment in the schoolyard today after telling EVERYONE she was getting braces yesterday.

Fortunately, she can’t take it out on me because she’s also certain that when we went to see the orthodontist in January he said the braces would be installed on our next visit. No mention of moulds first.

Speaking of the last appointment being in January and the receptionist telling me last week to bring $7000 … well .. there must be an invisible ink sign on my forehead that illuminates in the presence of PayPal machines saying “ rip her off, she’ll be too shy to argue with you”.

It turns out there’s a little notification on the dental surgery’s “treatment plans” that says the quotes are only valid for three months. It was just over three months since our last visit so guess what? The price went up $1200!

Yeah, my eyebrows were raised too … so now it’s $8200 … and I’m pretty sure I don’t have a leg to stand on … not the least because I’ll have to auction it off to pay the freaking orthodontic bill.

So, while the youngest was bubbling with fury about the humiliation, my angst went a little deeper into my pocket.

She also nearly died in the dental chair because the mould for the top plate obscured most of her throat and she can’t breathe through her nose ($400 ENT appointment coming up on Wednesday). She started waving her hand around in panic and the dentist cheerfully advised her to just wiggle her toes and everything would be just fine … as the oxygen evaporated from her brain.

Anyways, she survived and we’re booked in to get the actual braces in a month’s time … and don’t forget to bring $8200 with you!

I am so dirty about it.

Song of the day: Britney Spears “Hit me baby one more time”

4 thoughts on “No leg to stand on

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  1. Oh Alana how the orthodontist tale resonates with me. Seems nothing changes, my son is almost 50 therefore our experience must have happened 36 (give or take) years ago. Back then we were quoted $600, similar process, every visit price changed, every visit, what was planned for next visit changed, every visit dear son was angry as nothing happened as he was told it would. Eventually costing $1800, the orthodontist went skiing (possibly on my $1800), within 4 hours of completing said gold plated (must have been) mouth equipment . Of course 100’s of things went wrong, no orthodontist within 300klms, son ended in hospital, with braces removed! Such a great life memory …

  2. WOW! $8000 dollars for a brace? Quick maths is £6,300 for me. I’ve had 4 of my 7 kids fitted with braces under the age of 18 here in the UK, all for free of charge and with a private dentist. Makes me appreciate our health service a whole lot more.

    1. Our dental cover in Australia is terrible and not covered by universal health care. Actually most private medical rebates are pretty terrible. I am constantly wondering why I bother with it.

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