Subbing for your boyfriend

I was up until all hours last night (10pm in Alana World) subbing a trade journal article for DD.

DD finds my turn of phrase very amusing – he tells me “subbing” is short for doing the 50 Shades of Grey-style submissive thing.

I. Did. Not. Know. That.

Did you?

Subbing has nothing to do with sex in my industry. It’s short for “sub-editing” – checking for spelling mistakes and grammar and stuff.

Nothing raunchy about it. Very serious stuff.

Anyways, by the time I finished trying to edit something about oncology clinical trials in Asia down to 750 words my brain was hurting too much to even think about blogging.

So I’m being lazy and time warping back to the last week of August 2014.

Things were pretty hectic back then.

I did the grocery shopping sans underwear after getting naked with two women.

I had an ’80s housewarming where I decided to mutton myself up like THIS …

Nice midriff, shame about the face.

(Click here for more party photos.)

I resolved I wanted a date, not a fling … and fantasised about this …

“I want to talk to a man I don’t know and watch for sparks.

Do you know what I mean? The unknown quantity that might or might not lead somewhere. The verbal sparring, the frisson …

I’m not saying I’m looking for a partner – it’s waaaaay too soon for that – but I’m not interested in wasting time on someone who isn’t on my wavelength.

“I want to plunge into the deep end with men who ARE on my wavelength and sink or swim.

“Sinking is fine, swimming is awesome and toyboys need not apply.”

And I said Farewell To My Lady Plumbing … well, I thought that’s what was happening, I even booked the surgery. But my lady plumbing got a last-minute reprieve when I got wobbly about losing my cervix.

I also traumatised quite a few male followers by referring to the surgery as being like whipping out an engine through the tailpipe.

Quite evocative imagery that …

So that was my last week of August in 2014.

The last week of August in 2015 is a much more sedate affair, other than me getting a new boss.

How’s yours going?

Song of the day: Oasis “Don’t look back in anger”