Eeek! I have a wattle!

I suppose I should just be grateful I don't have a snood and caruncles

Not on my nature strip. On my neck.

You remember wattles? Richard Fish made them famous on Ally McBeal, stroking them in a fetish-like way on the necks of older women such as Dyan Cannon and Janet Reno (see below).

I was blissfully unaware of mine until I was sitting at the hairdresser’s yesterday.

Those farking mirrors in hairdressing salons. I farking hate them. They’re every bit as unflattering as the ones in changerooms and you’re forced to look into them for a whole hour while your hair is being chopped.

Normally I stare gloomily at my matronly knees and tree-trunk calves. But yesterday I watched myself swallow and what I thought was my adam’s apple bobbing up and down stayed put.

Because it wasn’t my adam’s apple. It was my WATTLE.

Argggggghhhhhh! I have a wattle!

Sob. That is all.

greg germann



3 thoughts on “Eeek! I have a wattle!

Add yours

  1. was in the hairdressers yesterday and decided to catch up on reading my emails…
    got to yours, looked in the mirror…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk…i have one too..i too was blissfully unaware…until now….hating it!!!!!

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