Trapped! Without food!

I’ve discovered an ingenious diet plan. It’s called work. And I think it might.

You see, when I was at home there was a fridge at my disposal 24 hours a day. The fridge was filled with all manner of luscious things that I couldn’t resist.

The fridge at work has a dried up avocado in it. And other people’s lunches in plastic bags.

Unlike my last – brief – place of employment, there is no junk food machine in the kitchen.

A single packet of extra-crunchy Smith’s chilli chips lies on the bench. It’s been there since I started and it taunts me every day as I make endless cups of peppermint tea in the vain hope they will “give a sense of fullness”.

The other thing that’s been helping my new diet is that I’ve been walking into the building in the morning and not walking out again until I’ve finished work. Once inside, the only sustenance I have is whatever I’ve packed in my froggy lunch bag (above).

My froggy lunch bag usually contains a salad, an apple and a flask of iced coffee made with lactose-free milk, hazelnut-infused coffee and stevia. (Imagine frowny face emoticon.)

It’s not enough, but it has to do. I’m hoping my stomach will eventually shrink enough to regard it as a satisfying meal.

I’m hoping the rest of me will eventually shrink enough for me to regard the depravation as worthwhile.

Not likely if I keep having breakfast burritos for dinner.