My week: two nights in a spa, one in hell


You just know a day is going to be challenging when you wake up and discover the dog’s upset stomach has done unspeakable things to the dining room carpet (“upset stomach” may be a euphemism).

Then your kids have a fight over the sliding door in the bathroom and break it and you can’t fix it and it makes you cry and you yell at them.

Then you discover your Snapfish Christmas photo album delivery on the front verandah and it’s WRONG and it’s all your fault for not checking properly. So you quickly do new ones before the 60% off special expires.

Then it’s time to go and visit Santa in the city, rather than in a civilised fashion at the local shopping centre, because that’s the way your kids want to play it. And because they’re so delightfully acting like Santa is real, you go.

And when you get there you’re told there’s a two and a half hour wait. And the kids are like, whatever, we don’t mind.

Fortunately we’ve reached the age of virtual queues, so it meant we could do Christmas shopping – and yum cha eating – in the meantime. A woman with a pram full of babies in the lift informed us she’d booked her session with Santa in October. October! And her appointment was still running late.

When the message pinged that it was time to see Santa, we were six floor up one building when we really needed to be six floors up another. The lifts were quite crowded and we got out on the wrong floor and couldn’t find stairs to get out.

The youngest has an escalator phobia and refuses to get on the bloody things. So mummy lost her shit again (NOT the textbook way to deal with a phobia) and bought her a stick of fairy floss bigger than her head afterwards to assuage her guilt. (Getting fairy floss is a big deal in the Household, the eldest noted that it was only the third time in her life that she’d had it … Mummy regards fairy floss as the work of the devil since it’s basically just a bit, fluffy ball of sugar … and the eldest had already had pink lemonade at lunch … bad Mummy.)

The eldest with her fairy floss Christmas beard

The eldest with her fairy floss Christmas beard

Santa, when we eventually saw him, was very nice and we got an excellent photo and the youngest asked for coloured kinetic sand (yes, really) and the eldest asked for a giant stuffed tiger she’d seen in the toy department (yes, really) that costs $100.

Then we bolted home to make 24 reindeer cupcakes for the eldest’s class party. And I discovered I didn’t have butter or ready-made icing. So I went to Woolies and somehow found myself with a full trolley to put through the register and yet still managed to get home without ready-made icing.

So I had to make my own. It felt very 80s.

The party was at 4pm, but the kids and I were still production-lining on Smartie noses, mini M&M eyes and Tiny Teddy antlers on still-warm cupcakes at 4.05pm.

So I was quite worked up by the time I arrived at the party and deposited them on the fancy cake stand provided …


An hour later I bolted off to take the youngest to her end-of-year gymnastics performance. The show was running horrifyingly late, so I left at interval to go back to the class party and collect the eldest and then return – with a pilfered cold sausage on a bun for the “starving” youngest – to see the gynmastics finale.

I was a little strung out when I got home at 9.30pm. Just for a change. Not my favourite day ever.

As for the rest of the week …

Here’s what went down at HouseGoesHome …


>> I posted My New House: The Before Pics including the gorgeous one above of the new front door. I’ve since taken a look at my bank account, blanched, and will no longer be getting a new kitchen. Sigh. Better start buying lottery tickets.

>> Then I crowed about my Champagne Lifestyle … on a Beer Budget, which includes pics of me drinking bubbly in a bikini in my sister’s spa.

>> How The Other Half Cruises (Mind. Totally. Blown) revealed what went down when my mate Mel and I scored a free night in a five-star suite aboard the Voyager of the Seas.

>> Ironically, after two days spent in spas with champagne, I moaned about how hard being a single mum can be at Christmas in a blog called I Need A Wife.

>> And I sent out a Save The Date request for my Valentine’s Day housewarming in Love Is In The Air.


>> Finally, I sent out my first Christmas 2014: Celebrity Style post, which will get updated as the social media pics continue flooding in.

Over at …

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>> These winning photos will make you lunch hour that little bit brighter >>


>> Plans have been announced to build a theme park based on Doctor Who, Sherlock and Top Gear. Will you be booking entry tickets? Details here >>

>> (My “official” story) What it’s like to spend the night in a five-star suite aboard The Voyager of the Seas >>

>> Australia’s best kid-friendly New Year’s Eve parties >>

>> The world’s best all-inclusive resorts. Click here to ooh and ahh.

How was your week?

Song of the day: Pete Murray & John Mayer “Opportunity”



One thought on “My week: two nights in a spa, one in hell

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