There’s no polite way to say this

There’s no polite way to say this: the coronavirus is on my shit list.

I had so many lovely things planned for my Festival of the 52nd Birthday.

I was going to Comedy Steps Up for Bushfire Relief at Sydney Opera House tonight to see Arj Barker, Carl Barron, Urzila Carlson, Joel Creasey, Kitty Flanagan, Tim Minchin, Julia Morris, Becky Lucas, Harry Shearer, Lawrence Mooney and Steph Tisdell. And DD had booked a night at a fancy hotel so I could wake up on my birthday in five-star luxury.

Cancelled.

We had tickets to see Tim Minchin at the Enmore Theatre on Thursday night.

Cancelled.

I was feeling a bit gloomy about it all, but there was still a faintly shining light.

We’d also booked a little mini-break in New Zealand in early April and were hesitating to cancel it because the South Island seemed relatively virus-free.

Then New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced new restrictions requiring travellers to be quarantined for 14 days upon entry into the country in an attempt to stop the spread of coronavirus.

So that was cancelled too.

Sad face.

Bloody coronavirus, ruining everyone’s fun.

It’s given me one of my least favourite things in the world for my birthday: uncertainty.

I’m a certainty kind of girl. It’s freaking me out not knowing if the schools are going to close, if the borders are going to close, if the economy is going to close …

I’d been pretty blase about it all up until that point – rolling my eyes at the panic buying of toilet paper and pasta.

But things have been getting pretty intense over the past few days.

My anxiety reached full flight when I messaged a friend in New York to let him know we wouldn’t be visiting in June because the World Skipping Championships had been cancelled.

He told me a town called New Rochelle, which is five miles from his place, was under National Guard lock down to contain a virus outbreak. That’s the kind of thing that happens in end-of-world sci-fi books, not real life. My friend has filled his basement with supplies and has bunkered down.

I don’t blame him – I can’t see things ending well in a country where people can’t afford to go to the doctor because there’s no universal health care.

When I messaged my ex about World’s being cancelled, he replied that it feels like we’re in a zombie movie.

We’re quite fond of zombie movies in our family. The kids and I are eagerly awaiting Zombieland 2 on Netflix as it’s still too expensive on DVD.

I found myself making a few trips to the supermarket over the weekend for cereal, baked beans, noodles, dog food …. just in case …

I must have chosen my locations and times well because I didn’t see the craziness being reported in the media, I was always second in line with my basket at the check out.

There was no toilet paper or garden variety spaghetti to be found, but lots of gourmet linguine and long-life noodles.

I’m a bit lairy of stocking up on frozen stuff, after my recent four-day black out. And we’ve had lots of bad experiences with pantry moths over the years, so I’ve put my small stock of rice and pasta in the fridge to protect it.

Mind you, the kids are eating the “emergency” supplies at an alarming rate. Bloody velociraptors.

I’ve been trying to take my mind off my panic by sorting through stuff from the garage. Here are some of the gems I found. I’m quite in love with my natural hair colour in the pics … but it’s deserted me too, along with all my birthday treats, sigh …

Yep, those are my positive pregnancy tests for the two kids. Saved for posterity. They were so thrilled when I showed them over the weekend.

Catch you tomoz, though I might give myself the day off as a birthday treat. Will advise.

Song of the day: The Beatles “Birthday”