That was epic … and then some

I aleays cram too much into my weekends, but yesterday was a bit off the scale.

I woke up at 5.30am … dammit … and spent 45 minutes on idiom and thesaurus websites trying to find a name for the blog I’m setting up with DD.

At 6.30am I had a shower then walked the dogs.

At 7.20am I drove to the jail to visit my friend Kathy, via my local coffee shop for a strong flat white.

At 7.24am I missed a call from Ghana. There goes my chance of helping an African prince and solving all my financial problems.

At 8.15am I was standing behind a lass in the jail queue who was having a loud conversation on the phone with her dad that kicked off like this:

“It feels so weird coming to the jail and not visiting you!”

I have no idea who she WAS visiting. But she was very upset about having to remove all her body piercings for it (you’re not allowed to wear jewellery in the visitors area).

She had a big moan to her dad about what a drag it had been and how she’d managed to remove her belly bar but couldn’t get the lip bar out because the skin had grown over it. She’d tried using pliers and everything. Dad seemed very concerned.

Then she said: “So don’t go back to jail cause it’s way too much hassle to visit.”

Naawwww.

Visiting jail is never dull. (See Bingo, Murder & Fuzzy Bed Socks for one of my other favourite queue conversations.)

As I was wandering back to my car, DD texted to say he was heading to Newport Christmas Markets in the arvo, so I asked if I could join him … and entice him into the surf afterwards. He agreed, but had lots of washing to do first, so I swung by home, grabbed my green bags and did my weekly shop first.

I dumped the cold stuff in the fridge, hung out a load of washing, then headed north for the 45-minute drive, as I’ve done most days for the past week due to the eldest’s Mona Vale panel beating work experience.

DD and I did a quick twirl around the markets … but neither of us were really in the mood to shop, so we headed to one of our favourite local haunts, Berempah, to share a plate of mee goreng and a Diet Coke, ducked to Bilgola for a dip, then I flung myself in the car in my wet cossie and towel and drove to meet my friend Wendy for a pre-arranged walk (via her bathroom to change into my gym gear).

The youngest arrived home from a weekend away mid walk, so I hoofed home to say hello and make her some fried rice, then hung another load of washing out, watered my new hedge and popped over to my sister’s house for a pre-arranged glass of bubbles and chitter chat in her spa.

Then it was home again to unpack the rest of the groceries, put the bins out and take furtive photos of Vegas next door. My new neighbours are obviously Christmas people – it’s gloriously OTT and it’s not even December yet, but who am I to be a Grinch?