I’ve spent the past few days walking and talking and talking and walking as I try to chase the blues away.
After each walk I would feel like I was two steps ahead of the blues for a little while, before slipping one step back when the endorphins wore off. But I finally made some progress on Sunday after a gym session and two animated rambles with friends.
I don’t know why I’ve been blue, but I have. I’ve been waking up with a sigh and going to sleep with one too.
Maybe it’s because the children are so far away. When they are close I’m kept busy caring for them and there’s not much time for moping.
It’s been strange just taking care of myself. I don’t feel like cooking for one. I fried some free range bacon a few days ago and just make BLTs with it whenever I get hungry. Or I snack on crackers and cheese.
In between walks I’ve been cleaning out the swamp that is the eldest’s bedroom.
So. Much. Filth.
But it’s been quite satisfying to reveal the floorboards from under the piles of chip packets and dirty clothes and give them a vacuum. My brother in law was horrified when stuck his head in there the other night to look for a ball to throw to the dogs. He’d popped over to help out when my flight was cancelled in Perth. My sister nervously admitted on my walk with her on a Saturday that he’d found syringes in there …
I started laughing because the syringes are for administering medication to the rats when their respiratory disease flares up … not because my child is a junkie.
I’ve also looked at two townhouses that are up for auction a couple of suburbs away. I’m pondering whether downsizing is the answer to my constant penury, especially with a trip to the World Skipping Championships on the cards.
I took my friend Emily along and she was concerned about how much traffic was in the street outside the first place … then we realised the traffic was there for the open house. There were literally 100 people queued up to get into the townhouse. We were about 51st in the queue, so we missed out on getting a brochure, as the real estate agent hadn’t expected it to be quite that crazy.
It was a nice little place – literally tiny, the second and third bedrooms were 2.4m x 3m each – still, I would have seriously considered buying it, but no dogs are allowed.
The second place was quoting $200,000 more than the first and was much bigger, but the living areas were elevated above the courtyard, which was accessed via an internal staircase. Not ideal, but I was still tempted and pets are allowed. However, going by the 80 people lined up to visit that one (luckily we were 20th in the queue and got a brochure) it’s going to sell for way more than my downsizing budget would allow.
So I’m back to square one for now. I’ll keep an eye on the market, something might come up.
I rounded out the weekend by having a proper dinner – a Sunday roast – at DD’s local. We cuddled up on the same side of the table together, I love how we do that, and sipped a glass of wine as we tucked in. Geez they do a good roast there. The crackling on the pork belly was superb.
The cuddling helped a lot. I literally feel the endorphins start to flow when DD’s skin is against mine.
As we sat there, I was relieved to finally feel genuinely relaxed and happy.
And now another week begins, one that is hopefully more routine than the end of the last one. My broken internet has been fixed, I will start going to the gym regularly again, throw myself into work, try to cook a few solo meals and get my groove properly back before the kids arrive home next Sunday.
They’re having the BEST holiday – the last week in New York has included seeing David Byrne perform live and heading to Broadway for Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief. The youngest was also super pumped to visit some exclusively size 8 and under store called Brandy Melville, while the eldest has been revelling in thrift shopping.
Next stop San Francisco, lucky ducks!
Song of the day: Talking Heads “Burning down the house”