There’s an episode of “The Middle”where Frankie buys a “bargain” dining table over the internet, only to discover why it’s so cheap when it arrives: it’s for a dolls’ house.
I just did the opposite.
I ordered a bar table online and it arrived giant sized.
It was delivered on Friday and I set to work during my lunch break sweatily screwing it together in the bizarro mid-April heatwave that swept Sydney. When I turned it over and set it on the kitchen floor I had the terrible, belated realisation that it’s really, really, really tall.
I’m talking my boobs resting on it when I stand against it. I’m talking needing a step ladder to climb onto the enormous stools.
I stupidly thought “bar table” meant something at bench height. But no, it doesn’t. Goose.
I paid very careful attention to the width: 60cm. I paid very careful attention to the length: 150cm. But I paid absolutely no attention to the height.
And I’m pretty sure that unpacking it and bolting it together and chipping a few bits of paint off in the process negates my ability to send it back.
I tried to convince myself it looked OK in the middle of the kitchen … despite towering 20-30cm above the bench tops …
But the truth was it looked WEIRD and out of place.
I was sooooooo annoyed with myself … until Sunday morning when I had the most awesome idea. You know how I have French doors but no deck? Well, I’m using the bar table to conceal the lack of deck and make the French doors look like they’re floor-to-ceiling windows …
I just need to clear all the shite from the undercover area and sweeeeet … bar table with a garden view.
In other not-fitting-in news, I was kid-less over the weekend. They’ve been away celebrating their uncle’s 50th. Some lovely family photos popped up in my Facebook feed on Saturday afternoon.
I smiled fondly at the happy snaps – all those nieces and nephews I’ve known since they were born … some of them fully fledged adults now. And then, out of nowhere, I started crying.
It’s strange to see family photos with someone else standing in the spot where you used to be.
A marriage isn’t just one relationship – the tendrils of loss are far reaching when it ends. Fortunately I’m lucky enough to still be on good terms with my ex’s family – his siblings travelled from far and wide to attend my 50th, bless them.
A long hug from DD helped soothe my heart. Then I started the drive home and the tears started flowing again.
Well, only until I was on the dark, bushy Wakehurst Parkway and “Can You Feel It?” came on the radio.
It’s impossible to stay sad when that fabulous song is blasting away at maximum volume in your car.
If you look around
The whole world is coming together nowCan you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it
Feel it in the air, the wind is taking it everywhere
Can you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it
All the colors of the world should be
Lovin’ each other wholeheartedly
Yes, it’s all right
Take my message to your brother and tell him twice
Spread the word and try to teach the man
Who’s hating his brother, when hate won’t do
When we’re all the same, ’cause the blood inside me is inside youCan you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it
Can you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel itSing out loud
Because we want to make a crowd
Touch a hand and sing a sound so pure, salvation ringsCan you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it