I was angsting to DD the other night about having to compile schedules and timelines for my job.
I told him my sister and I had been bonding in the spa over the weekend about how much we disliked them (both being in corp comms these days).
“Everything will get done,” my sister insisted. “I will make it happen. Why do I have to put it down in a spreadsheet?”
Yep, that’s me too. I will make things happen … but I also understand that people need to see some sort framework. Sigh.
My antipathy towards schedules would be understandable if I felt the same way about every part of my life, but it’s just work ones that make me baulk. I want my personal life annotated down to the finest detail. We’re talking about a woman who used to book her holidays a year in advance.
And I’m dating someone who makes their plans five minutes before they happen.
DD thinks it’s hilarious that I’m so diametrically opposed in my work and personal lives.
It’s had its tricky moments during our relationship. Can a control freak and a play-it-by-ear kinda guy make it work?
I’m a dreamer who loves having stuff to look forward to … from plans for the weekend to something in a few months time. Not having that stuff in the pipeline unsettles me.
He, on the other hand, is unsettled by being asked what he fancies for dinner next Saturday night.
I’m trying to loosen up. As I noted recently, I’m learning to appreciate the joy of not trying to make every single decision (a year in advance) for every single person in my sphere … though I still have a tendency to believe I always know the best way/choice/route/decision.
DD is finding the planning thing a little tougher to embrace … though he did take me on that pre-arranged date to the ironic Chinese restaurant last week. It was the first time in a loooooong while that we’d dressed up and gone out. I even wore heels!
So maybe there’s hope for us meeting in the middle.
Middle aged dating is a difficult beast when all that set-in-your-ways stuff comes into play.
Are you a planning nut or the play-it-by-ear type? How about your partner?
PS I’d been thinking the whole control thing was a result of personal and professional psychological damage … until the youngest lost it the other night when I got cranky at her for going loopy about whose Milo it was in the tin that had been sitting neglected in the pantry for months … suddenly both sisters were measuring every granule and the little one looked like she might explode as the eldest swallowed a scoop. She wailed: “I know I’m a control freak and I DON’T CARE. I want my own tin of Milo so I can put my name on it in permanent marker and she can’t touch it.” Hmmmmmm … genetic?
Song of the day: The Motels “I would sell my soul for total control …”