I’ve been overthinking again. Worrying about the way HouseGoesHome has transformed into a daily digital diary of my life.
You know what I mean … lots of I did this and this yesterday, blah, blah, blah.
It wasn’t always that way.
On January 6, 2012, I wrote a blog called Murder, Medicine and Motherhood about my school friend Kathleen Folbigg, who is serving 26 years in prison for the murder of her four children. It noted …
Kathy stays strong. Kathy believes in her innocence. Kathy has bunkered down to serve her time with as little drama as possible. When I leave, I shudder and think: “Imagine losing four kids to cot death, being found guilty of their murder and going to prison.” It’s the stuff of nightmares. People are wrongly convicted all the time … Even if you believe Kathy is guilty, does she really belong in jail? No sane mother would do the things she’s supposed to have done. No insane mother ever gets the psychiatrict help they so desperately need behind bars. But I’m convinced there’s reasonable doubt in Kathy’s case. You don’t throw away the key when there’s reasonable doubt. She should get that re-trial …
On January 6, 2013, I blogged a recipe for Lamb Koftas with Fattoush. There used to be heaps more recipes on the blog. I was obsessed with cooking when I was married, not so much these days. My ex has taken up those reins. He bought himself a mortar and pestle and everything. I, on the other hand, eat lots of leftovers and handfuls of nuts.
On January 6, 2014, I blogged a Hollywood gossip column that included Alyssa Milano being fat shamed. There wasn’t much “me” in the blogs around that time because my marriage was swirling down the separation plughole. My ex was deeply resentful of me working from home during my office shutdown and very scathing about the content I was producing. So I submerged myself in Hollywood blather and marvelled at the polar vortex (remember it?) rather than facing what was happening in my life or head.
On January 6, 2015, I was contemplating my mortality as friend lay clinging to life on an emergency operating table. I called that one Worrying Less and Laughing More.
Luckily my friend pulled through.
And I laughed more.
These days, I blather about my latest adventures with DD. I post pretty pictures. Every now and then I plough the field of my post-marital discontent, but I find it hard to muster the required angst. When I do get upset about something that’s gone awry – as I did in a blog called Screaming Into A Pillow last week – some people get cross and suggest it’s time to move on.
One wrote on Facebook: “We have all suffered defeats and tragedies and rely on our friends and loved ones to pull us through, but that is not fair in the long run as they too are dealing with their sh*t and sometimes they can’t take any more, especially if they keep hearing the same complaints.”
I’ve reached my two-year time limit on grief (and bitching).
So where does HouseGoesHome go from here?
Are my latest adventures and pretty pictures enough? Does it need to be something more? Do I need to be deep and meaningful to satisfy my followers?
These are the over-thinker’s questions that are being tossed around in my brain.
For a while I thought the blog might become about how to survive a marriage break-up and co-parent in a way that protects your kids from as much emotional harm as possible.
I suppose it’s still occasionally about that. But I’m aware that my kids are becoming more social media savvy. I know the eldest likes to keep a low profile and I’ve started asking the youngest if she minds me writing about certain events in her life.
For now I’ll just keep ambling along, sharing my fluff and nonsense.
I do love it – it’s like having a chat with friends every morning. But it can be a bit one-sided. I always feel at a disadvantage when I catch up with blog followers in the flesh. They know so much about my life and I know so little about theirs.
So please do share your highs and lows with me in the comments when the mood takes you. I love hearing your fluff, nonsense (and important stuff) too.
Song of the day: Split Enz “Stuff and Nonsense”