Well this (and that … and THAT) is a worry


I couldn’t sleep last night.

Too hot, too stressed.

I did lots of deep breathing and concentrated on the whir of the overhead fan, trying to make my brain go blank.

My brain isn’t very good at going blank.

It was too busy worrying about the weekend.

We’re holding a birthday party for the eldest today. Then I’m heading to a 50th birthday party up the coast.

Tomorrow the eldest and I will spend the day at the Doctor Who Festival as her birthday present. Then I’m take her to another 12-year-old’s birthday at Coogee. The dress code is “Tumblr.” What the freaking hell does THAT mean?

Then the weekend is over and working mum hell starts all over again.

I am tired before I even start.

My brain was doing dumb things in the darkness, like fretting about how late it was getting and calculating how many hours of sleep I would get if I nodded off in the next five minutes.

It was mentally searching the house for the sleeping masks my ex had requested in a text at 10pm for a game at the party.

It was panicking about how cold it’s going to be for the party and wondering whether the invitation had specified to bring swimmers.

Should I have sent a reminder email to the partygoers? Will they remember to come?

When will I get a chance to clean the house in all this madness? Could I squeeze in a gym visit on Sunday morning before the festival?

I went off on a mini-guilt trip about the gym visit. It sounds so self-indulgent.

But I haven’t been in weeks and I can feel my exercise-lead sanity slipping away.

Exercise keeps me balanced. Without it I get a bit wobbly.

I finally drifted off to sleep after 1am. The dogs started barking around 6am because they were bored and wanted me to play.

Normally they sleep until around 7am. Damn them.

I’ll finish this blog and start icing the birthday cake. When the youngest wakes up she’ll help me make some Tardis fudge.

Oh yeah, life goes on.

How did you survive the heat? 

Song of the day: The Pretenders “I go to sleep”



2 thoughts on “Well this (and that … and THAT) is a worry

  1. I hate that when you can’t sleep. I have nights like that too. And it seems the later you get the sleep, the earlier something or someone wakes you up! But we get through it. 5 minutes at a time. I’ve been using a white noise app on the phone so I can listen to “rain on the roof” and other calming sounds. Usually it works. But when my head is full like that, writing it all down on paper and promising myself I’ll deal with it in the morning usually helps. I hope the weekend goes smoothly for you and that you enjoy it!

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