I can remember being very cocky – at age 34 and pre-kids – about being able to wear T-shirts without bras.
I had lots and lots of collagen back then, which kept everything pointing in the right direction.
I miss all that collagen.
I want it back.
Collagen is the fibrous protein that gives structure to your skin, signs of its loss are wrinkles and sagging of skin. Around the age of 25 to 30, you start to lose 1.5% of your collagen every year. By the time you get to my age, your body has lost so much that your skin starts to resemble one of your kids’ old, stretched rashies.
I spent most of the past 10 years – when I still had a fair whack of collagen – never wearing sleeveless outfits because I was worried about my bingo arms.
Pfffft! Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?
But recently I started thinking, bugger it, I’m going to wear whatever I like.
Especially when freak heatwaves hit in October.
So I pulled on a singlet top for work last week and checked myself out in the mirror and discovered bingo arms were the least of my problems. I thought … hang on, my skin is overflowing from my bra.
I thought maybe it was just a crap bra, so I tried on all my other ones and, sigh, loose skin pokes up and over the elastic and out the sides in every single one of them.
I briefly considered changing tops, but since I start work at 6am there’s not a lot of time built into the morning for last-minute outfit panics, so I just went with it and hoped no one would notice my excess back and side skin.
Note to self: no one DOES notice your excess back and side skin. They are too busy worrying about their own lives and far more important matters.
Why am I telling you this story?
Well, I went to a Verducci party yesterday afternoon at my lovely friend Mel’s house. Mel really knows how to make a Verducci party rock. She serves awesome Moscow Mules and yummy meatballs. Talk about an unbeatable combo!
Verducci is the Tupperware of the fashion world. A hostess runs you through a season’s worth of fashion designs then everyone races off to the bedroom to try lots of stuff on.
Being freshly embarrassed by my low collagen output, I hid in a separate bedroom to try things on, while everyone else giggled in another room together, pulling their clothes off with gay abandon.
The Verducci range isn’t my normal cup of tea, but I must say the woman who designs it really knows her market. The styles are extremely good at hiding your low-collagen bits.
I was in a bit of a rush to drink Alicante Bouchet with DD – who turned out to be unexpectedly passing through the neighbourhood – so I didn’t have time to try everything on, but I did get a top in one of my three favourite fashion colours – cobalt blue (the other two are orange and khaki) – and a pair of the most amazing fitted pants. The pants have high tops with really wide elastic that flattens your low-collagen/stretched/over-meatballed tummy rather nicely.
NOTHING mushrooms over the top – they are magic pants.
I briefly contemplated buying them in every colour, but decided to go with a basic black pair for now, made all the more appealing because for some reason I’m a size 10 in Verducci. (Probably a ruse to make people buy more stuff, but I ain’t knocking it.)
So thank you Mel for introducing me to magic pants.
Now, someone just needs to design magic singlet tops and my summer is made.
A girl can dream …
Do you have a favourite fashion colour?
Song of the day: Joni Mitchell “Big Yellow Taxi”