Making the world’s most expensive granola

Remember how I stayed with my lovely permaculture friends in The Channon recently at their Air BnB cabin? And remember how they’d feed my kids brekkie every morning while I lazed around on the cabin’s verandah drinking coffee?

Well, one morning they made the most delicious paleo-style granola. I’m normally quite eye-rolly at the mention of paleo anything but this stuff was awesome.

So I stole the recipe and made a batch … after almost fainting at the cost of the ingredients at the supermarket.

But it was bloody lovely and I gave DD a container of it to have for his brekkie. He was very impressed by its healthy deliciousness, although I was very cross about him eating it with strawberry yogurt rather than the sugar-free Greek stuff I’d provided.

The idea was to avoid the sucrose!

Anyways, last night he decided to make a batch of his own … except I neglected to tell him my shortcuts (like buying your nuts pre-chopped) … so I got a picture of it …

And a message saying: “world’s most expensive granola.”

I replied: “Told ya it was like gold to finance.”

He responded: “Especially when you have to buy a food processor.”

And I almost wet my pants laughing. Poor DD!

You don’t have to buy a food processor to make it my way, I do a cheat’s version.

(The tabloid journalist still lurking in me wanted to call the blog something like “Forgetting to tell DD about cheating” but I decided that was a bit too naughty. So I’ve just gone for something straight that won’t get as many clicks but avoids making the world think I’ve been up to no good.)

I also went for a walk with my friend Mel last night and told her about the world’s most expensive granola. She thought it sounded awesome and asked me to share the recipe.

So here it is … It will cost you a farking fortune to buy all the fancy paleo stuff the first time, but you’ll get three or four batches out of most of the pricey ingredients.

Recipe: Cheat’s ‘paleo’ granola

500g Macro Wholefoods Trail Mix

6 dates, chopped

1/2 cup hazelnut meal

2/3 cup shredded coconut

2 tbsps chia seeds

2 generous tablespoons melted coconut oil

5 tbsps maple syrup

1 tsp vanilla extract

zest of 1 orange, finely chopped

Plus whatever odds and ends of raw nuts you have lying in the fridge/pantry (I used about 1/2 cup chopped macadamias and 1/3 cup of crushed peanuts in my last batch – the idea is to have nuts and seeds of all shapes, sizes and pieces in the mix)

METHOD: Throw everything in a baking paper lined pan and toss to coat. Bake at 180C for 10 minutes. Toss. Bake for another 10 minutes. Cool and store in an airtight container. I know it’s not paleo, but I serve it with Jalna pot-set Greek yoghurt (I’m not usually a plain Greek yogurt fan but this one is yuuuuum).

Song of the day: Jimmy Castor Bunch “Troglodyte”