My week: judged and found wanting

Last week had its demoralizing moments. I won’t bore you with all the details … unless you feel inclined to buy me a wine while I whine …

Not feeling “good enough” has been a rather unhelpful soundtrack during most of my life. Sensible me knows it’s not true. Loopy me … not so much.

Ironically, it’s an allegation that gets thrown back at me – I make people feel nothing they do is “good enough” for me.

I’ve no idea why I’m so hard on myself and others.

One of my latest “fails” has been with my eldest daughter. She’s accused me of not listening … quite a few times. And she’s right – I’ve completely missed numerous things she’s said because I’ve been busy negotiating traffic, cooking dinner, tidying up … or texting.

It’s been a bit of a metaphorical punch in the stomach, because the eldest likes to keep her own counsel. So, if she’s actually said something to me I really ought to have listened.

It made me feel slightly better when my ex admitted – as we traipsed through the rain at Vivid on Friday night – that she says the same thing to him. I was sure my confession would be given a long “disappointing mother” stare.

vivid

My new life continues to be a one-step-forward-two-steps-back dance. I keep wanting to steer away from choppy waters and sail smoothly for a while, but my destiny doesn’t seem to be a quiet life.

The week at HouseGoesHome …

david-beckham-bike

>> Monday was all about a newspaper column I’ve been reading by a back-on-the-dating scene woman called Stella – it’s quite confronting, close to the bone, a bit depressing … and irresistible reading.

>> Tuesday heralded the baby news I didn’t want to hear.

>> Wednesday was a flight of fantasy about my plans for decorating the youngest’s bedroom.

>> On Thursday I wondered how divorce could be “the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

>> Friday was all about how I’m haunted by the triceratops sex position (DD gets very annoyed about me calling it a position, he says it’s an “act” … thoughts?)

>> And Saturday was all golden sands, crystal brooks, silken lines, silver hooks … as I revealed my love for John Donne. Oh, plus a random post about it being World Donut Day.

Meanwhile, over at Kidspot …

>> New mums are being offered shopping vouchers to leave hospital early >> http://kidspot.me/1KM7QGp

>> Bottle-feeding mums went mental about a story I wrote on a scientific study that suggests breastmilk protects against childhood cancer >> http://kidspot.me/1dIFEXF

>> Jessica Simpson was slammed for posting a “sexy” toddler photo.

>> French mums are offered free vagina tightening after birth >> http://kidspot.me/1FnTp4L

>> Pregnant with her fourth set of twins in four years (my biggest-ever story for Kidspot!)

How was your week? 

Song of the day: Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush “Don’t give up”

 

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