I can’t believe I’m doing this

'Lost in Translation' Movie Stills

Guess where I’m going on Sunday?

On my first RSVP date.

I’m a bit terrified, to be honest.

I think I understand the RSVP rules reasonably well – the date will be in a highly public place, I’ve ensured I have a pre-planned escape route (a movie date with my sister afterwards), I’ll wear a sensible dress and all drinks will be bought and opened in my sight.

We’ve corresponded via text message, but it will feel strange to actually talk.  It’s tempting to suggest we sit in a coffee shop at separate tables and text each other instead.  Much safer.

There are so many RSVP date etiquette rules that I’m uncertain about.

If I arrive first is it impolite to order a drink before he gets there? Should I just stick to water?

What should we talk about? Somehow the effect “triceratops sex position” has been having on my blog traffic seems inappropriate, despite it being an oddly exciting development in the site’s popularity.

Actually, the blog is rather problematic full stop. How do you explain to someone on a first date that you are infamous?

Infamous sounds dramatic, but I don’t know how else to describe it.

I have a rather frank blog that, aside from discussing dino porn, advocates for prisoner Kathleen Folbigg‘s case to be reopened (which once got me sacked). It also delves rather deeply into the angst that came from my partner of 23 years leaving me. Actually, it delves rather deeply into my angst full stop.

I am a rather terrifyingly open book. And it feels furtive to not mention it.*

How is a stranger going to feel about that? Are they going to run a million miles and decide to date someone less complicated?

OK, I’m over-thinking everything, as usual.

Getting back to basics, the thought of meeting a stranger for a drink is pretty scary in itself.

I forget how I’m supposed to act in these situations. I was 23 the last time I was single.

I’m a babe in the woods.

And I’m not sure I’m ready.

It’s awfully soon when you think about it. The wounds are healing, but they haven’t completely closed over.

Maybe I need more time. Why did I put up that bloody RSVP profile?

I’ve already had two male friends tell me it’s not very good, only 5 out of 10. Needs more humour apparently. Makes me sound all shy and retiring. Totally not in keeping with the blog AT ALL. Nothing shy and retiring about the blog.

Oh and don’t get me started on HIM. How do I know he’s telling the truth about himself in his profile? It might not even be his photograph. For all I know he’s a stalker using RSVP for nefarious purposes.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

(NB I’ve sent his profile picture and phone number to my mum – and sister – just in case.)

Wish me luck!

Song of the day: REM “Try not to breathe”

* At the very least, I’ll be promising him that I won’t blog about our date. Sorry folks.





15 thoughts on “I can’t believe I’m doing this

Add yours

  1. thank god u luv txting, i want a full report!!
    good luck, dont stress, u sound prepared (the sending his # is a brilliant idea!! i cld never have told my parents i was looking online!! lol)

      1. yes… my weekends free r filling up, so will have to book a day in now… sun easier for me…

  2. For god’s sake don’t mention the blog,not yet. And don’t talk about your ex. I reckon it’s ok to indicate you have children (in passing don’t bang on about them) frankly children would be less scary to a bloke than the blog I think. But hey what would I know I haven’t dated since I was 22 either, back then your friends introduced you to fellas and you got to know each other at drunken parties. You only discovered their profile by trial and error. PS will message u today re catching up.

  3. Yep, agreed, don’t mention the blog! And a phone call BEFORE the date is definitely the right thing to do…you get a heap of insight!

  4. Good luck! How very exciting! Keep calm, expectations realistic… He may be a “disposable distraction”- if so, it will be fun regardless!

      1. Ha- you are welcome to it. I also have determined another class- to which they can graduate- “permanent possibility”. Have a great time tonight!

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