I decided you were all dirty buggers when yesterday’s blog – “Let’s Talk About Sex” – started going off. I’m talking crazy clicks. Ah, I thought, so that’s the secret. Just put “sex” in the title each day and my numbers will go through the roof, HouseGoesHome will be a runaway success and I’ll make a fortune in ad revenue (from disreputable sources).
But alas, it turns out something a little more … disturbing … was afoot. And it involves something called a “triceratops sex position.”
As my regular readers will know, my life is filled with bizarre coincidences. Latest case in point: yesterday I decided – in desperation because I was a bit mentally blank – to write a blog referencing an old post of mine called “Ever Imagined Being Ravished By A Triceratops”. It was prompted by a handful of people searching the aforementioned “triceratops sex position” and stumbling across my blog.
Well, it turns out there’s a US TV show called Blackish. IMDB describes the plot as: “A family man struggles to gain a sense of cultural identity while raising his kids in a predominantly white, upper-middle-class neighbourhood.
Blackish aired a particularly risque episode this week referencing a sex position called the “triceratops” and thousands of people got their knickers in a knot, clammering to discover what it was.
Just check out some of the tweets …
Since I’ve discussed “triceratops sex” previously on the blog, HouseGoesHome was pushed high up the search engines (because that’s how the algorithm works).
I was completely clueless about my skyrocketing numbers until some kindly new visitors to the blog took pity on my ignorance and explained why I was going gangbusters … so to speak.
And I immediately joined the masses in Googling what the “triceratops sex position” might be.
It’s fairly, er, confronting.
I can’t quite bring myself to even explain the tamer version, aside from pointing out that a triceratops has three horns …
The dirtier version … oh gawd.
Anyways … that blog about bar hopping in Newie will have to wait another day.
Song of the day: Berlin “Sex … I’m a …