Let’s talk about sex

sex-diagram

I went bar hopping in Newcastle last night. It was exactly the sort of bulk fun I needed after a crappy week in the trenches.

We started early – 4.30pm – so we could soak up the afternoon rays at our first port of call. Five bars later … My head is a bit hurty this morning.

I tottered back to my parents’ house and struggled into a double bed with the youngest, who is the thrashy, noisy type. So I’ve had five to six hours shut-eye if I’m lucky. Between 5am and 6am, I pondered what to blog and came up with a big, fat nothing.

The logical thing would be to blog about the bar hopping, but I want to do that properly with lots of links and pics and stuff and that is a huuuuuuuge pain on an iPad, so I’ll do it tomorrow instead when I get back to electronic civilisation.

What I will say about last night is that I turned the conversation to where I always turn it socially these days – sex.

I told my friends I couldn’t blog about the fact I turn all conversations to sex because it would give people the wrong impression but, hey, when your mind’s a blank and you usually press publish on your blog at 7am …

Fortunately for my friends, we didn’t discuss sex (too) much, as I was mindful of being in mixed company. If you’re a chick trapped on your own with me, watch out, I will quiz you senseless.

Less confrontingly, I asked the bloke at the table for psyche advice on a male of the species I’ve encountered, but he didn’t have any wisdom to impart. No one ever does, they all just agree he’s either a tosser or weird. Sigh. I think I’m a weird magnet.

Speaking of weird, an old blog went gangbusters yesterday when heaps of people started searching variations of “triceratops sex positions” and arrived at HouseGoesHome. It’s called “Ever Imagined Being Ravished By A Triceratops?” And you can click here to read it >> http://wp.me/p1Jq2y-3sN

Sex with a triceratops … Nah, doesn’t get me going. You?

See, now I’m talking about sex with YOU! No one is safe …

Song of the day: Salt n Pepa “Let’s talk about sex”

9 thoughts on “Let’s talk about sex

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  1. Hahahah…I posted a video last night on FB and commented that it was “bulk fun”…Big Wheels for big boys.
    I read a comment from a mutual friend this morning saying “bulk fun?”, and thought that it was an odd reply.
    Now I understand! 🙂

    1. My reason for querying the ‘bulk fun’ comment, Geoff, was that I found it a teeny bit weird that you have now adopted Alana’s catchphrases.

      1. Yes, that’s why I’m not going to Google it. Once see, something can’t be unseen. I learnt my lesson with your pregnancy varicose veins condition!

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