RSVP, we need to talk …


It’s been a week since we first got together RSVP and I think it’s time we had a little chat. Our relationship has been … unusual. And I’m not sure it’s going anywhere. I’m flattered by the attention you’ve been lavishing on me – and all those “kisses” – but I’m not sure we have enough in common.

I also have a few questions:

Is it wrong to reject “kisses” from men who can’t spell?

Is it wrong to reject “kisses” from men who don’t drink?

Is it wrong to reject “kisses” from men who appear to be (actual) Rod Stewart impersonators on the RSL circuit?

Why is it that men who write in their profiles that they love women “but not in a creepy way” immediately appear creepy anyway.

Why would a bloke from Perth send me a “kiss” to someone who lives in Sydney?

What is it with the blokes who, when you send a polite thanks-but-no-thanks response to their “kiss”,  immediately send you another one? Do they think you’re just playing hard to get or do they think persistence will wear you down? It won’t and it makes them appear slightly stalkerish rather than endearingly eager.

What is it with the bloke whose photo appeared on a profile for a widower from Woollongong in the early part of the week, but a few days later appeared on the profile of some bloke on the northern beaches of Sydney?

Why is it that all the blokes I fancy are invariably into water sports? It seems pointless to even pursue a conversation when I can’t swim.

Why are 50% of the men who “kiss” me engineers?

Why are the other 50% of them from Sutherland?

Why would I “kiss” someone called LonelySkier, Enigma4U or IWontMakeYouFat?

What makes blokes think photos that make them look like Ivan Milat’s cousin are appropriate for their profiles? Don’t they have friends to run these things past?

What’s going on with the guys who send you a “kiss” and you send one back, then it takes them four days to message you?

Oh, and how long should you wait to message them back? Is five minutes later too eager? Is five days later not eager enough? Is their some sort of RSVP rule book about this sort of thing?

What’s going on with the guys who pay to message you, then don’t reply when you message them back? Was it something I said or are they just busy? Actually, they’re not busy because their profile says they’ve been on-line today.


Song of the day: George Michael “Faith”





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