It would seem I’ve replaced house-buying stress with hormonal viciousness. Oh the vile slurs I’ve been silently hurling at Husband as I pack up the whole freaking house ON MY OWN while HE’S ON A SKIING HOLIDAY.
Goddamn him and his middle-aged dash from responsibility.
Since watching Monty Python And The Holy Grail with the kids on the weekend, I’ve been feeling very Black Knighty. Do your worst and I won’t give in, I’ll go on fighting. Is that the worst you can throw at me, life? Pfffft, ’tis but a scratch!
The question is: am I invincible or loony?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it! [hah] [parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: ‘Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm’s off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn’t.
ARTHUR: Well, what’s that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’ve had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy! [hah] [parry thrust]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT’s right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc- [hah]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound. [bang]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I’ll have your leg. Right! [whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I’ll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You’ll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come ‘ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’m invincible!
ARTHUR: You’re a loony.
Song of the day: Des’ree “You gotta be”