It all started with a story that my co-worker Jo had innocently titled “Why you shouldn’t film your birth”. I was halfway through my lunch when I started proof reading it. Fortunately I wasn’t having beef rendang that day, but it was still a little stomach churning. Because it turns out the reason you shouldn’t film your birth is … poo.
The author, Monica Dux, wrote: “It seems that after ‘Is it a boy or a girl?’, the words most often spoken in our nation’s birthing suites are: ‘Oh no, I’m doing a poo! I’m doing a poo!’ And these women soon discover that, no matter how much they protest, no one is willing to take their concern seriously much less do anything about it.
“I first found out about all this when I was perusing a handy list of things I’d need during my labour. Among the obvious stuff—lollies to keep your blood sugar up, massage oil so your beloved can give you a relaxing shoulder rub—was a kitchen strainer. The list cryptically specified that this item would be required only for water births.
“Why in God’s name would I need a strainer at a birth, I wondered. Would I be expected to whip up a bowl of pasta for my visitors in between breastfeeding the new baby? Then it struck me. Water birth. Strainer. To be used for removing foreign matter from water. Floating matter …”
I ended up renaming the article “The words no woman expects to yell during childbirth” (read it here
http://bit.ly/16n4RSu). And it provoked plenty of comments, including one from Ala, who wrote: “Why so scared of poo? There is blood and guts and hemorrhoids ahoy, how does poo make it to the top of the list?”
On the other hand, Kelly said: “You might worry about it beforehand but I can bloody well guarantee that you don’t give, well a shit so to speak, when you’re actually in labour pushing that baby out!!”
So I’m not quite sure how the woman pictured below handled the situation …
This reality star, Melissa Gorga, has written a book about the secrets to a happy marriage and it goes along the lines of doing ANYTHING to keep your husband happy, even if it includes being verbally abused, being forced to have sex and pretending you never poop so as not to offend him.
Melissa writes: “Girls don’t poop, Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn’t happen. Or, that’s what Joe thinks! We’ve been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. “
Which lead me to say …
In other HouseGoesHome musings this week …
I introduced people to BatDad … and he really cracks me up (he makes Vine videos of himself giving his kids and wife advice in a Christian Bale Batman voice). Though he would annoy the … crap … out of me if I was married to him.
Forget Hot Tub Time Machines … I went in a Turkish Pizza Time Machine last week when I revisited my old stomping ground in Petersham.
Read about it here. In a moment of blankness on the creativity front, I blogged
6 more marvellous cupcakes. And I reckon I’ll make these hamburger ones next time I have a fundraiser.
Meanwhile, over at iVillage …
These breathtaking photos provide a hint of what life as an off-duty ballerina might look like – jumps, pirouettes and all. See them all here: http://bit.ly/18sSbHE
Time for your daily dose of cute: Think this little guy’s cute? Wait until you see an entire nursery of baby pandas – quick, click here:http://bit.ly/1bgiCnI
Meet the artist who brings kids’ drawings to life – these pictures are AMAZING >> http://bit.ly/1dKx8Sl
A mum has written a letter to the nurses who saved her son’s life… and it’s beautiful. Read it here: http://bit.ly/1h77VRX
If someone made you 300 sandwiches like this, would you ask them to marry you? This man is going to >> http://bit.ly/1eLiInU
If you say six words to your child today it should be these…http://bit.ly/1bdk5LL (this story has WOW factor)
They said my husband had 18 months to live… so I got pregnant >> http://bit.ly/16pO3dI
It was supposed to be a charming family photo. Instead, these parents got the shock of their lives… Click here to see what happened >> http://bit.ly/1gYwdgQ
When mum-to-be Lea-Ann Ellison posted this photo of herself on Facebook, she never expected to receive backlash >>
http://bit.ly/14BhVAgAs for the yummy stuff …
21 delicious ice blocks to make for the kids this weekend. Recipes here: http://bit.ly/15x5HWM
In the mood for pasta? Here are 5 luscious pasta bakes and casseroles to make tonight >>
http://bit.ly/16pEGdW
Here are the 5 dinners I’ll be making for my family this week. Click here for the recipes >>
http://bit.ly/18kc2a2How was your week?
housegoeshome 
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