True crime time

DD and I popped down to Melbourne over the weekend for the strangest reason.

His friend’s wife is a true crime fan and wanted to tour the notorious Pentridge Prison with us.

I am very much not a true crime fan, but I was talked into it.

And we ended up having the most awesome weekend.

We did a lot during our short visit, which would make for a very long blog post. So I’m just going to focus on our action-packed Saturday.

It dawned with DD and I drinking coffees and sharing a toastie in a city arcade.

Then we popped over to the Myer sale to picked up a new pair of blue suede shoes for DD.

Back at the hotel we booked an Uber and headed to South Melbourne Market, which was a revelation.

Such a fun, bustling spot. We had lots of fun pottering around, eating delicious Sicilian cannoli and spotting my book for sale on a shelf (heavily discounted).

After a wander around the vibrant streets surrounding the markets we had lunch at a restaurant on the edge of them, called Bambu, where we devoured delicious crab fried rice.

Then we jumped on a tram and a train to visit Pentridge, way out in Coburg.

After housing some of Australia’s most infamous criminals during its nearly 150-year history, Pentridge closed in 1997. And its been turned into a lively dining, entertainment, and residential precinct.

Of all things.

The terrible C Division was demolished and the site is now home to a cinema, supermarket and other mod-cons, including a nail salon. However, it once was crammed with tiny, terribly primitive prison cells.

One prisoner described it in Barry Ellem’s Doing Time: “The cells were very small … you had a night bucket, a table and a stool. No bed, only a mattress on the floor, where I slept for seven years. It was very cramped. You had to walk in the cell sideways otherwise you could get no space for yourself. It had no electricity, no lights, no wireless, you used to have to use candles, it was called candle light alley.”

I’m not sure I’d fancy watching a movie there.

B Block, on the other hand, is now home to a fancy hotel, including rooms in former cells, and was hosting a wedding during our visit.Shudder.

We were booked on the H Division tour. Known as Hell Division to its inmates, the tour covered the dark heart of Pentridge. I am not good with cruelty, assault and torture, so I was a bit freaked out by the tour.

Guards (illegally) bashed prisoners when they entered H Division, (illegally) fed them bread and water, and (legally) made them break rocks into thumbnail-sized pieces every day.

And that was some of the less harrowing stuff that happened there. Right up until 1997.

It was fascinating, but I was glad to leave.

And then we caught an Uber to a very cool new bar called Death & Co … as you do after a visit to a jail … where my lovely niece was celebrating her 30th birthday.

It was such a happy coincidence that we were in town the same weekend and so nice to give her and her younger sister big hugs.

The lighting in the bar was very dim, apart from the glaring spot where we decided to pose for a photo. Possibly we should have stuck to the shadows!

Since its 2006 establishment in Manhattan’s East Village, Death & Co has become one of the world’s most influential bars, and opened its Melbourne outpost on Flinders Lane in November last year.

I slipped into a booth with my sister in law to sip delicious Kaikoma Highballs with Japanese whisky, single malt Scotch, yuzu and soda.

Due to the dimness of the venue I couldn’t make out the price tag for the cocktail, which I have just been retrospectively shocked to discover was $30.

That wasn’t putting off any of the patrons, with the happening place already packed at 5pm.

At 6.30pm we were off again, with the eldest in tow, to see Eonarium Enlightenment which has taken over the Long Room at Melbourne’s Immigration Museum for an immersive light show.

Divided into scenes inspired by spring, summer, autumn and winter, the 30-minute installation uses video mapping technology to highlight the Long Room’s grand features, all set to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. It was very lovely … and we were grateful for a lie down on bean bags to enjoy it.

Afterwards we ducked to D.O.C at Southbank, where the eldest and I were very enamoured with the carbonara pizza (calories on weekends away don’t count).

And then we were off again to visit the eldest’s art studio for an in-person viewing of the magnificent sculpture. The eldest was very pleased that it evoked so many conflicting emotions in me, from fear to a desire to protect the vulnerable creature from the world.

Then the eldest disappeared into the night and we swung past Morris House for a nightcap before collapsing in bed.

What a huuuuuuge day!

Then we got up and did another 10km of walking and shopping and eating on Sunday, kicking off by sharing a tasty turkey club sandwich at Bowery to Williamsburg, a New York-style deli in Oliver Lane.