I’m campaigning for a longish getaway together as a family. Not immediately, maybe a year from now. I want to wait until the youngest’s memory extends beyond that of a gnat. But not too long, because the eldest’s size indicates puberty may be just around the corner.
Husband’s long-service leave is coming up and I’m determined that we do something with it. Something as a family. Even if it’s just a month together, before the eldest’s hormones kick in and she slips away from us.
It sounds melodramatic, but I’m scared of those hormones.
I only have to read stories like the one from this mum who wondered Is This The Cruelest Truth of Parenting to know what it might be like.
So I’ve been telling Husband we need to cherish the next few years with the eldest. And that’s why I want us to run away from home en masse.
Have you ever done that, booked a house somewhere foreign for a month or two? Where did you go?
I’m thinking we should use the long-service-leave money to rent an apartment in New York or a villa in Tuscany or something romantic like that.
The eldest suggested a month in Medowie might be nice, but somehow Port Stephens doesn’t inspire me quite so much. Newcastle, then, she pondered.
No, not Newcastle either.
The youngest put her hand up for Fiji, but I’m not sure I could do a whole month in Fiji, as idyllic at it may be.
Geez I’m fussy.
I can’t help yearning for it to just be the four of us for a little while. The years go fast. Way too fast.
It seems like only yesterday the eldest looked like this …
Now she’s almost as tall as me. A nine-year-old with size 7 feet and a dry wit.
It won’t be long before playing board games with her mum and dad has been ditched for girlfriends at the mall.
And I’m going to miss her.
When do they come back again? Or do some stay. Send me some hope in a comment please …
housegoeshome 
Years 7 & 8 in high school were like a cruel joke for us. Our beautiful well behaved little girl became a sullen monster who locked herself in her bedroom at all possible times, wore nothing but black and screamed like a banshee if I attempted to communicate with her. We tried to get her to see a psychologist but she refused. All we could do was watch and encourage her to talk to someone, anyone.
Ours was a bit of an extreme situation that lasted for about 18 months. I think it was a combination of finding her place in the world, the dreaded hormones and a really bad friendship.
Then it suddenly changed. I was hardly game to say it outloud when I realised we’d had a whole week with no yelling. Then she smiled! It was an amazing change. Our eldest now speaks to us like a real human being, a friend. She has ditched the depressing friends – of her own choice when she realised for herself what was happening. I even saw her wearing a white tshirt the other day!!!
We still have our moments – we are still human after all…
Basically no matter what happens be patient and work through it. Offer help and guidance and they eventually work it out! It s difficult to secide where the line is between friendship, guidance and putting the foot down and being a parent. I think that is what I finally worked out, to stop being all supportive and set some tough rules. Once I did that it seemed to help find her feet and I now once again have a beautiful, happy, not so well behaved daughter who is 15, well on her way to becoming a woman and it a good two inches taller than me with size 11 (!!!!!!) feet.
Oops that went on far longer than I had planned, sorry. I think it is the first time I have boxed the last 2 years up and I must admit it feels pretty damned good to put it behind me! Just in time for child two to begin….
Hey Melissa, thanks for getting that off your chest. I know it’s confronting – kinda like telling people about childbirth before they have the baby – but I appreciate your honesty. Good luck with child 2, hope it’s not as challenging!!!!
I haven’t found the teenage years to be as bad as I had imagined. Having said that, it is at times emotionally draining and I find myself having to be constantly vigilant about the moods, the social media, school, friends and that can be extremely wearing. I really think it’s a lot tougher being a teen now than in the 80’s. I reckon the most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open (even when they don’t want to talk make sure they know you are there and available). I’m finding since I’ve taken a break from work I’m hearing a lot more about what is going on in their lives because I am there when they get home from school and want to unload. It’s made me realise when I go back to work I am going to have start a system whereby we all sit down for afternoon tea when I get home – or I have to go back to sitting around the dinner table together for some reason now they are older that has slipped and I really must start to make sure that happens again.
The dinner table idea sounds pretty vital to me. Also, I read that its important that when they talk to you, don’t get distracted – give them your full attention (no checking phone messages!!!)
We’ve twice had 2 months overseas with the kids and would highly recommend it. First when they were 4 and 5 and again when they were 7 and 8. Hoping also to go next year. It was fantastic. Stayed in a few houses for a week to 3 weeks in various places in the south of France. Went for a few days to Paris and London. We also did a 2 week road trip to Germany , Czech rep and Austria. The key is to go when the weather is warm (September is best) and book houses where there’s a pool. We’d walk around the village in the morning, go to a market, see the sights and usually go out to lunch. then in the afternoon the kids would jump around in the pool and we’d read or sleep. It’s not as expensive as you’d think. We got the airfares including a stopover and 2 months car hire of a brand new car for $10k. The houses are around $1200 – $1500 pw and groceries, wine and cheese is cheaper than here. By the time you get there you’ve paid for most things and its really just the day to day expenses. The expensive thing travelling with kids is going from hotel to hotel ( you tend to panic and get something awful or something really expensive) and eating out all the time. If you book houses for a week or 2 you can avoid that. It’s wonderful having time with them that doesn’t involve nagging: get dressed, do your homework etc. just book it!
I love a September holiday. I also like the idea of having a home base, not a hotel room. So much more relaxing. And you are right – a pool is pretty essential. Mine prefer a splash to just about anything.