Getting the snip

sad bunny

OK, so yesterday was pretty traumatic. I got the bunny neutered. The bunny almost had a nervous breakdown the moment the vet touched him during the preliminary examination. I was partially eviscerated while trying to prevent the bunny plunging to almost certain death from the examination table. (Well, that’s a slight exaggeration, but my stomach looks like someone’s been playing noughts and crosses on it with a sharp stick.)

You’d think that a vet specialising in “rabbits, ferrets, guinea pigs, rats, mice, snakes, lizards, turtles, frogs and axolotls” (still loving that) might have anticipated the need for a lower and wider examination table, but no. The table was perilously high and narrow and the bunny was making disturbing screaming noises as he attempted to fling himself off it.

Mind you, at least the bunny didn’t draw blood on my stomach. The vet was bleeding from wrist to elbow by the end of it. Eeek.

(She threw in a free nail clip with the surgery. Bless.)

Eventually he was subdued by being wrapped mummy-like in a towel. He lay there wide-eyed and shivering. I felt like such a heel.

But I joined him in the wide-eyed and shivering stakes when the vet explained the costs involved in the procedure. Sure they’d mentioned the exhorbitant $232 for the neutering on the phone, but that didn’t take into account the intial consultation ($85, I wonder if I got charged extra for the vet’s extensive injuries?), plus the optional but “advisable” extras.

First, a blood and urine analysis at $90 to ensure the bunny was in tip-top health. Then IV fluids after the operation to assist with the recovery from anaesthetic, for $110. There were also suggested vaccinations for some virus or other. No price mentioned for that. God knows.

I stood frozen and staring at the vet as I tallied it all in my mind. I didn’t want to appear cheap in front of the vet, but I also have a mortgage to pay. On the other hand, I was mindful of how seriously the veterinary practice takes its patients. As I sat in the waiting room, a woman arrived and had a chat to the receptionist, who loudly announced over the phone that “Candy’s mum is here for a visit.”

Candy being a rabbit. Her “mum” being a human.

In the end, I decided the bunny was already in tip-top health and didn’t need a blood and urine analysis. He also didn’t need a vaccination since he never leaves the house. But I felt so guilt-ridden about cutting off his balls that I agreed to the $110 worth of IV fluids.

Grand total for visit: $427.

Fark me drunk.

And then I left the bunny to his fate and went home to the news that half of Oklahoma had been swept away by a tornado. So I spent a fair amount of the afternoon weeping. And then I went back to collect the bunny after school pick-up, handed over my credit card and felt like weeping again.

The bunny has to take it easy for a week. I also have to give him medicine. Well, that will be a doddle. Not.

The bunny is really pissed off about losing his balls (or whatever happens when they are neutered). He just sits under the couch, glaring out balefully at me. I’ve tried to explain that we will get him a girlfriend soon as compensation. Preferably one who has already been desexed, so I can still afford to send the kids to university. But I don’t think the bunny understands English, so he’s not appeased.

Ever taken anyone in your household to get the snip?

PS We also have a sick chook at the moment who has a slight stagger and other symptoms that might put you off your breakfast. Husband suggested she go to the vet yesterday too. Chook vets are few and far between in Sydney. They also charge around $75 for a visit. I wasn’t quite up for that, financially or mentally, so I’m hoping the chook rallies on her own. Poor chooky.

PPS In honor of my sad bunny, here’s a few sad bunny photos I found on Google. I love Google.

Sad Bunny


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