Like pimples, you’d think I’d have grown out of celebrity crushes by now. But no, they’re both lingering well past their use-by date.
The Sprogs and I spent many hours and dollars over the weekend downloading Doctor Who episodes, specifically the Martha Jones era with David Tennant.
I thought I’d gotten over David Tennant. I thought I’d moved on … or more accurately back … to David Duchovny after watching the last season of Californication.
But now, every fibre in my 45-year-old body vibrates with lust for the Tennant David. And I don’t quite understand the attraction.
He’s a self-described “skinny, gawky freak boy”, I get all cringey when he cries or otherwise over-emotes on screen and I completely go off him when his hair isn’t all spikey like it is on Doctor Who.
There’s also the small matter of him being a happily married about-to-be-father-of-three with a drop-dead gorgeous wife.
And even if he was single he wouldn’t have the slightest interest in me. Though I did make a how-to-meet-him suggestion to The Bloggess on Twitter when she tweeted: “The one living person I’d most like to meet would be David Tennant but I probably wouldn’t bc if he was mean it’d crush me.”
Oddly enough she didn’t reply when I responded: “write a kick-ass script and campaign for him to star in it …”
But that’s not going to stop me sneakily shoe-horning her into my blog. This is a picture of The Bloggess’ backyard with a cardboard Tardis she ordered on-line perched in it.
That script thing isn’t just an idle suggestion. I’m modelling the male lead in my stalled (ok, not actually started but extensively fantasised) movie on Mr Tennant. He’s the former geeky schoolboy who becomes a sexy foreign correspondent and knocks the socks off all the women at his high school reunion with his war wounds. OK, it sounds tacky when I explain it like that … but it’s really awesome – on the movie screen in my brain – I promise.
Back in 2009 David was also voted Britain’s sexiest man in a poll of women over 30. He beat Daniel Craig to the title in the survey by allaboutyou.com, with 70% of the 1000 people polled voting for him.
Meanwhile, The Urban Dictionary explains him as: “The sexiest actor ever. Scottish, lean, tall, brilliant, devilishly good looking, can display every emotion in the book on that handsome face of his, remains absolutely adorable while still being so very sexy, and has been referred to as “David Ten-Inch Tennant”, for…obvious reasons ;)”
Oo-er! Hadn’t heard that
big little gem before.
Anyway … despite all the adoration from others, I’m still a bit confused by this inexplicable lust for a weedy Englishman. But excuse me while I go and download another Doctor Who episode, preferably one with snogging in it.
IS THERE ANYONE FAMOUS WHO GETS YOU ALL HOT AND BOTHERED?
PS For the ultimate David Tennant porn, watch this youtube clip – the Pink soundtrack – Oh My God – is AWESOME …
Put me on the table
Make me say your name
If I can’t remember
Then give me all your pain
I can sit and listen
Or I can make you scream
Kiss it and make it better
Just put your trust in me
Oh my God, go a little slower
Oh my God, what was that again
La da da, let me feel you baby
Let me in, ’cause I understand
Let me feel you baby
‘Cause I understand
I understand all
Now climb my sugar walls
Problem solved it’s dissolved
with the solvent known as spit
Lickity lick not so quick it’s a
Slick ride make my mink slide
‘Cause were all pink inside …
I might have contributed, oh, about 500 of its 940,615 hits … make that 501 … phwoar!