Pink bits

I was feeling pretty murderous last week. I pulled a whopping big knife from drawer and went totally berko. There was pink stuff spattered everywhere. It was Pulp Kitchen in the kitchen time. Those bastards at Farmers Direct had sent more frickin’ beetroot. Argh!!! I found a recipe for beetroot curry, but that seemed a bit weird. Beetroot dip didn’t do it for me either. It felt too cold for a salad. Husband begged me not to make more beetroot cupcakes. So I went for risotto. It was delicious but if I never cook/eat another beetroot it will be too soon. Please let them be out of season soon. The beach ball-sized cabbage they sent wasn’t much fun either. When was the last time a family of four needed that much cabbage when they weren’t eastern European? Perhaps I should have used it as inspiration to go on the Cabbage Soup Diet. I tried to put my wedding ring on yesterday after a year, but couldn’t get it on my pudgy finger. You know push is coming to shove when even your fingers are developing spare tires. Ah well, no hope of dieting on a school holiday road trip. I’ll just have to wait for my next giant cabbage delivery.

PS Speaking of pink bits, someone Googled “Brazilian waxing with happy ending” and got to housegoeshome yesterday. If there are two things that don’t belong in a sentence together …. Seriously, is someone really going to get their nether regions slathered in hot wax, have it – and all the hair – ripped off again and again and again, then be interested in some naughty business? I don’t think so.

RECIPE: BEETROOT, WALNUT AND GOAT’S CHEESE RISOTTO

4 fresh beetroot, cooked, peeled and diced (retaining 1 cup of beetroot water)

1 litre chicken stock

olive oil

1 onion, peeled

2 garlic cloves, crushed

2 cups arborio rice

2 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves

150ml white wine

75g walnuts, roughly chopped

125g soft goat’s cheese

Rocket leaves, to serve

METHOD: Heat the olive oil in a heavy based pan over a medium flame. Add onion and garlic and saute until softened. Add the rice and stir for two minutes to coat the grains with oil. Add the white wine and thyme to the rice and cook until it has almost evaporated. Add beetroot water, stirring until liquid is almost absorbed. Add the stock, a ladleful at a time, stirring until liquid is absorbed. Continue until the rice is cooked but still slightly al dente, about 20 minutes. Stir through the beetroot. Serve in bowls with crumbled goat’s cheese, walnuts and a handful of rocket leaves on each.