Am I being unreasonable?

I have a very first-world problem. But I need to get it off my chest.

I booked a cruise for next year that starts in Auckland and concludes in Cairns. I was drawn to it because all the stops were islands, with Norfolk Island and Lady Musgrave Island as highlights. I am in bucket-list-ticking-off mode and those two were on it.

On Saturday I was sitting at the hairdresser idly scanning my emails while my roots were being done. I saw a promotion for the cruise in my inbox.

I decided to revel in the excitement by opening the email and gazing in delight at the itinerary … only to discover that Norfolk Island had been replaced by BRISBANE.

BRISBANE!!!!!

The new itinerary involves us spend three days at sea chugging across the Pacific to a CITY when I was expecting to visit a lovely, remote ISLAND.

And Lady Musgrave Island has been replaced by Airlie Beach. No comparison. None at all.

I have been inconsolable ever since I found out. It wasn’t a cheap cruise – I spent many hours agonising over the cost – and I would not have booked it based on the new itinerary.

Of course the cruise company has its iron-clad, change-of-itinerary clauses in place to protect themselves, but I feel duped. They sucked us in with exotic ports and replaced two of them with mundane ones.

And I can’t get a refund.

They won’t even explain why the itinerary has changed, but I think it’s because someone stuffed up and didn’t get permission to stop at Norfolk Island.

Fine, well not fine, but substitute like for like. Switching Norfolk Island for a three-day ocean voyage to BRISBANE is not an acceptable substitute.

I am furious that I am flying all the way to Auckland to cruise to BRISBANE. I don’t care how much free Champagne there is on board, I signed up for an expedition, not a “city explorer experience” in BRISBANE. FFS.

It particularly enrages me that the cruise line had the bloody hide to promote the cruise in a mass send-out newsletter without having the courtesy to let existing passengers know the itinerary had been changed.

I have cried several times and the cruise company IS DEAD TO ME.

But the expensive final payment is due tomorrow and they have trapped me good and proper.

The travel agent said: “I do believe that the ship experience will be a holiday and you should not feel cheated.”

I bloody well do feel cheated and the “ship experience” is not a consolation.

So dark about it. Very bleak.

Song of the day: Eurythmics “Would I lie to you?”