I should have checked

I had my first lot of periodontic treatment yesterday.

It was very unpleasant.

The periodontist applied numbing gel to my gums first, but those eight pre-cleaning needles still stung. I was also warned that the anaesthetic would make me feel a bit shakey and panicked at first.

It was hard to tell because I was already shakey and panicked before the injections.

The right side of my jaw began to ache once he started cleaning my gums and I massaged it during a break in the torture.

I have a clicky jaw and it gives me hell during dental visits if I have to keep my mouth wide open for long periods.

And that’s when I discovered most miraculous innovation. The periodontist put an object called a block something or other between my top and bottom teeth for me to bite down on.

Even though it was the teeth on the opposite side that were resting, the ache went away. He’s promised to put a note on my files so I get one every time I go to the dentist in the future!

I was very well behaved during the procedure and only retched twice. The dental assistant placed a comforting hand on my shoulder all the way through, which was very kind of her.

But it turned out that when I really needed her comforting hand was when I got the bill for $1000 and discovered my NIB policy does not cover periodontics.

Yup, zero rebate. FFS.

And there’s another $1000 round in two weeks time.

I really should have checked that. Actually, I reckon they could have mentioned something before they booked me in, what with it being an NIB Dental Clinic and all, but anyhoo.

Not really what I was hoping to spend my tax return on.

At the end of the procedure the periodontist stuck a wad of gauze between my teeth and sent me on my way with prescriptions for antibiotics and painkillers plus a medical certificate for today.

Way to make a woman freak out about how much it’s going to hurt …

He also handed me a face mask, which I thought was a bit odd.

Luckily I went to the bathroom before heading out into the real world because when I looked in the mirror I realised a flap of the blood-soaked gauze was hanging out the corner of my numb mouth. I tucked it back inside and headed to Zara to shop my feelings before the anaesthetic wore off.

Zara is normally my happy place but nothing appealed to me, which was fortunate as I am now very poor and that’s before I get the bill for my visit to the orthopedic surgeon today.

As for the pain … well, there wasn’t any. At least not in my mouth. But I popped a pill anyway before bed to shut my cranky hip up.

My mouth feels perfectly fine this morning too. Go figure. I can toss that medical certificate.

Song of the day: REM “Everybody hurts”