The magic words

I wasn’t having a great run with Facebook Marketplace until I mentioned three magic words: Juicy Couture suitcase.

Far out, things went nuts within 30 seconds of me posting the listing on Sunday afternoon. I spent the next five hours fielding endless “is this still available?”, “how many kilos does it hold?” and “will you accept $30?” questions.

Yes, it’s still available.

I dunno how many kilos it holds.

No, I won’t drop the price, the item is in very high demand.

I quickly realised I had probably waaaaay under priced it at $50, but I had figured that since I’d only bought it for $89 at TK Maxx two years prior it wasn’t worth too much.

I was also pleased to be rid of the unwanted item. It had been chosen on whim when the youngest was 14 as her luggage for the ill-fated World Skipping Championships in Toronto, Canada, in 2020 and never used.

The now-16-year-old has very different ideas about what constitutes acceptable luggage.

Juicy Couture doesn’t cut it.

Finally, after much pinging. someone called Len agreed to buy the metallic pink prize and was desperate to get it on the same night. But I was at DD’s place making bangers and mash.

The eldest agreed to hand it over for me, but I was worried that Len was a dirty old man, so it was a bit stressful waiting for the eldest to reply to my “are you alive???” messages.

Len turned out to be a young woman with a penchant for designer brands.

Someone’s mum is coming over tonight to collect a bedhead and side table that I keenly priced at $99.

I am hoping they don’t look too closely at it, as there was a bit broken off at the top … I broke off the bit on the other side so they matched.

Do you think they will be able to tell?

It’s also very, very dusty.

Things that aren’t moving nearly as quickly are a portable air-conditioner … I figure I will repost it during the first heatwave of the season … and a white cupboard with fish shapes cut out of the wood.

The listings have attracted their fair share of weirdos. Someone wanted to know if you could hang things in the little white cupboard and remove the fish. No and no.

I will add to the listings this weekend, as I am fast running out of time to shed my possessions before I am homeless.

My stress levels were elevated further yesterday by the school ringing me at work to say the youngest was in sick bay with chest pains.

So much crazy stuff happens in my life that I didn’t even blink an eyelid, I just started Googling how expensive it would be to exit early bird parking.

It was going to be outrageously expensive, so I hunted down my ex with a “please call me urgently” message and got him to do it.

It was only after I hung up the phone that I remembered he almost died from a heart condition as a kid. Eeek.

The youngest was oddly ungrateful that her father collected her from school and then booked a doctor’s appointment. She bombarded me with furious messages as it was interfering with her plans to have a job interview and go to a horror movie.

Teenagers, who’d have them?

The doctor reckons it’s probably nothing, but has suggested blood tests just to be on the safe side.

Never a dull moment.

Song of the day: The Police “Every little thing she does is magic”