I threw it away

I’ve been feeling really happy over the past few months. Actually, happy isn’t the right word.

I’ve been feeling very content.

I’m happy too, but I think the contentment is the important piece of the puzzle.

I don’t want to jinx it, but I’m wondering if it’s a sign that the hormonal storm of the past few years might finally be abating.

I haven’t sobbed uncontrollably in the shower for AGES and I’m coping much better with daily challenges.

I’ve been feeling pretty awesome. Tired and old, but awesome.

I know people who are disappointed or angry that life hasn’t turned out the way they wanted. They feel something is missing that they can’t quite put their finger on … or they’re constantly looking for someone to blame when things don’t go according to plan.

That’s not me. There are moments when I think the universe is being very unfair, but I move on quickly.

I would like more money and less worry, but I also know that I’m pretty lucky in the grand scheme of things.

As the years pass – a little too quickly – I’ve decided that laughter and love and natural beauty matter much more than material possessions.

I sound like a hippy dippy chick, but if you’ve met me you’ll know I’m the opposite of that. I’m wry and pragmatic, but I seem to have gone a bit soft on the inside (as well as around my middle) in recent years.

And I think I’m finally learning to go with the external flow … ironically, just when the internal one has gone.

Anyways, enough philosphising …

On the subject of things invariably going wrong along the way  … I realised yesterday morning that I’d accidentally thrown away the electronic access key to my work parking spot.

And a garbage truck had just emptied my bin.

Not ironic, Alanis, just unlucky.

The little piece of plastic is normally on my key ring, but during COVID-19 it’s been sitting in a tattered envelope, being shared with one of my workmates on our separate visits to the office. I cleared out some of the mess in my car on Saturday and the tattered envelope was absent-mindedly thrown into the recycling bin.

It was only when I got into the car yesterday morning, a few hours after the weekly garbage trucks had completed their run, that I realised what I’d done.

Nooooooooo! I was so furious with myself, but I didn’t lose the plot … not even when I had to pay $110 to the building manager for a new one. I’ve asked for a receipt in the hope I can claim it on tax. Fingers crossed.

Gaye my work buddy has put the new one on a lanyard to ensure it doesn’t end up in the bin again.

I’ve just added the incident to the long list of crap 2020 has delivered.

Bloody 2020. Bloody middle-aged absent mindedness.

Song of the day: Garbage “Stupid girl”