So classy

You’ll be pleased to hear I don’t think I’ll die of alcoholism.

I’m not sure I ever had the capacity for it, but it appears to be completely out of the question at age 52. I don’t have the stomach for excessive consumption of booze.

A tipple, on the other hand, can be quite fun.

For example, I’m quite enamored with this stuff:

I know, classy, right? Prosecco in a can.

It’s become my version of a beer after work. It has a dash of orange bitters in it, which initially put me off (and makes it look like Fanta when you tip it into a glass), but it has grown on me. I now find the bitterness totally delicious.

But I can only handle one can in a sitting. I tried having a second one the other night because I’d enjoyed the first one so much and I couldn’t finish it because I felt a bit sick.

I’m the same with wine, I get to about the third glass and I’m done.

That said, I tore through a fair bit of rosé with my sister in law the other weekend, but I spread it over quite a few hours. It was so much fun to nibble on yummy cheese, sip pink wine and chatter that I just couldn’t help myself. But it was over such a long period that I barely felt tipsy.

I also enjoy sipping a glass of wine cuddled up to DD, especially if there’s an open fire or crashing waves involved.

But I look at people who get totally stonkered at my age and wonder how they do it. And I shudder at the thought of the hangover the next day.

Don’t get me wrong, I have previous form in the over-indulgence area.

I think I gave myself alcohol poisoning on Fairstar the Funship when I was in my early 20s. I took my sister on the cruise – a freebie for a magazine article – and we met some Brisbane boys who had a stash of duty-free spirits.

The boys were quite handsome, so I was quite dazzled to spend the cruise drinking whisky with them, but they only had eyes for my gorgeous sister.

Poor, pale, redheaded me.

Their lack of interest in my feminine wiles didn’t inhibit their generosity with their booze. Blimey I did a job on myself. I was totally maggoted the morning I got off that boat.

And it’s a great excuse to run photos of younger me before the wrinkles set in …

I also do a complete job on myself every time a man leaves me. Fortunately, as I’m a serial monogamist, that isn’t very often. I’ve only been dumped twice in my life, but ohhhhh was there a lot of vodka involved, while I blubbered to “Nothing Compares 2 U” on high rotation.

NB: I don’t recommend any of those coping mechanisms to anyone.

PS: As an aside, it is BULLSHITE that people are drinking more during COVID-19. Some people might be, but overall sales are down. I get annoyed when I see the selective data and surveys mentioned in wowser articles because they’re not telling the whole story. That said, if you are drinking more during COVID-19, maybe it’s worth examining why and working on fixing the stuff that’s getting to you.

Song of the day: Crowded House “How will you go?”