A former colleague shared this disturbing infographic on her Facebook feed over the weekend:
It’s from a mob called ketocustomplan.com, who obviously have no interest in attracting female subscribers over the age of 50, as they will take one look at the sketches representing them and want to start a crowd-funding campaign for a cyber attack on the website.
My Facebook friend noted: “Things really go downhill when a woman hits 50. From normal 40-50 to frumpy bun woman … just like that. Hit 60, you buy ill-fitting cardigans and look confused.”
I think it’s time to sack your graphic designer, Keto Custom Plan.
However, I did find myself reaching an age-related fashion milestone over the weekend. Witchery sent an email announcing I’d qualified for a $60 voucher, so I immediately rushed to my nearest store to spend it. My criteria: something comfortable with an elastic waistband.
The shop was full of fancy clothes that I don’t require while working from home. I eventually found a pair of silky navy pants that met my specifications, aside from their “dropped crotch”. I do not understand the nappy pants thing at all, but with a long top over the pants you can’t see that my crotch sags. The pants were $99, but I figured that wasn’t too bad considering I had my voucher.
When I got to the counter, the shop assistant announced the pants had just gone on sale for $49, so they were FREE!!
On a high from saving $50, I ducked over to Decjuba to spend it on a pair of high-waisted elasticised jeans.
I do not understand high-waisted pants either. I think they are very unflattering, especially on me, but even on skinny people. However, with a long top over them I look quite presentable.
And I am sooooo comfortable! No more hiking my jeans up over my iso belly every time I sit down or stand up. It’s awesome … as long as I don’t lift my top up and expose the mid-life fabric marshmallow underneath.
I figure I’m sorted for winter now and it stops me scruffing around the neighbourhood in an old pair of trakkie daks, since Kitty Flanagan has informed me that it’s not cool to wear your gym clothes 24/7 (which would be my other preferred daywear option).
Yep, I have officially entered the elastic-waisted pants years. Pity I didn’t get the matching navy cardy at Witchery, it was super cute.
Song of the day: John Mellencamp “Cherry Bomb”