Cramping my style

(Not a blog post about diarrhoea)

Ever since the calendar ticked over to March 1, my inbox has been flooded with special offers and discounts for my birthday, which is lovely, but a constant reminder that I am about to turn 52.

Still, it’s better than when I turned 50 and the bowel cancer and breast cancer letters arrived in the post.

For example, Qantas is offering me double frequent flyer points on any flights I book before my big day.

Enticing …

But it doesn’t assuage feeling soooooo old.

I’ve noticed that I’m starting to look a little old too. And I’m not just saying that so you’ll reassure me that I’m not.

My collagen is deserting me at an alarming rate. It’s getting harder and harder to find a selfie angle that conceals the wrinkles. Although one side of my face definitely looks better than the other, so I always have to check that I’ve angled myself the correct way to the camera.

But enough desultory talk! I have lots of fun stuff planned to take my mind off the terrible 5-2. Expect lots of excited blog posts in the weeks ahead.

Though I’m getting a little worried about the coronavirus cramping my style. And I can’t dismiss it as fake news, since it’s Attorney-General Christian Porter saying biosecurity control orders are likely to be used on a large scale around the country in the coming weeks, with “human health response zones” and compulsory decontamination orders likely.

Apparently bans could be placed on people attending large public events or busy locations including shopping centres and schools, and individuals could be blocked from entering or leaving hospitals.

People who defy control orders could face arrest and other sanctions.

Shit’s getting real, man.

And it sucks, as I have a few large public events in the diary. (Oh, and also because people might died.)

Not to mention the fact I’m supposed to be flying to the World Skipping Championships in July.

We’re going via the US, which is an additional worry as there are predictions the country will be hit hard.

Almost half of Americans between the ages of 19 and 64 have inadequate health insurance. There are fears many may avoid seeking care because of the potentially devastating financial costs involved.

I can’t see that panning out well in the face of a pandemic.

Oh, sorry, I said I was moving on from the desultory stuff. I won’t talk about the toilet paper shortages at my local Woolies then …

I should probably be more pandemic panicked, but I’m actually feeling pretty high on life at the moment, despite the wrinkle situation and the fact the older you are the worse they reckon you get the coronavirus.

I mean, there’s a lot to celebrate: I’m entering the festival of the birthday, I’m about to move the eldest’s pet rats into the garage, the ocean is lovely and warm …

I may only have 12 rolls of toilet paper stockpiled, but apart from that, I’m feeling pretty good about life.

Song of the day: Doug Ashdown “Winter in America”