Stop calling me!

I called my friend Paul the other night to wish him a happy birthday. He got such a shock because he knows how much I hate making phone calls.

The mere thought makes me queasy with dread. I’m OK once I get talking, but I have to psyche myself into pressing the buttons.

The only things I actually want to do with my phone are text or look at Facebook/Instagram/gmail/take photos.

As for answering the phone … for the past few years I’ve endured endless cold calls. So I mostly have the sound turned off and don’t answer if I don’t recognise the number.

This makes it tricky if someone really needs to talk to me about something other than selling me life insurance.

Perhaps that’s why I haven’t heard from those dicks at Cor De Coco who seem to think it’s no biggie that my 12-year-old’s drink contained this filthy piece of broken glass and haven’t bothered to do anything more than send a one-sentence email virtually saying “Soz, but not super soz.”

Seriously people, would it hurt to pick up the phone and check we’re OK?

Er, maybe they did and I ignored it. I kinda doubt it though.

Every now and then I answer numbers I don’t recognise because I’m worried about someone genuinely trying to get through about something important, but I invariably regret it.

I did it again this week, only to hear a recorded message in Mandarin on the other end of the line.

That’s weird, I thought.

Anyways, I was trawling through Facebook last night waiting for the eldest to finish their latest phone conversation in the bathroom when I came across a post from NSW Police saying there was an elaborate international phone scam targeting Chinese expats, which has netted millions of dollars worldwide.

“Thousands of people across NSW have reported receiving a call from someone speaking in Mandarin, and police are aware of people who have fallen victim to the scam.

“Investigators have been told the calls involve demands for money under the threat of violence or harm to the receiver, their family and/or friends.”

Ermagerd, thank heavens I don’t speak Mandarin and didn’t ask my Chinese co-workers if they could understand what the call was saying, it would have freaked the bejesus out of them.

“There have been reports victims across Australia, as well as New Zealand, USA, Canada, and United Kingdom, have been scammed of millions of dollars.

“Financial Crimes Squad Commander, Detective Superintendent Linda Howlett, said the calls appear to be random, but ultimately targeting vulnerable members of the Chinese-Australian community.”

Now I’m not a vulnerable member of the Chinese-Australian community, but I did get a Chinese visa last week … coincidence?

“If a call is received, the best course of action is to hang-up and report to police.”

Hmmmm, I might have to get onto Crimestoppers with my paranoid theory.

In the meantime, I am soooooo sick of getting four or five cold/scam calls a day.

Feck off!!!!

Song of the day:  Madonna “Don’t tell me”