What I should have said

I still can’t bring myself to watch the video of my speech from the party.

I’ve been having speech regret ever since Sunday morning. Deeeeeeep, deeeeeep speech regret.  I thought my chest was going to explode with regret yesterday.

When I confessed my panic to my sister she told me to stop overthinking it. That’s a bit like telling me to stop breathing … although that’s probably not the best metaphor – I didn’t do much breathing yesterday, I was too wound up.

If I’d done the sensible thing and written something down, it would have gone like this (short and sweet rather than long and rambling and a bit screechy):

As the Finn Brothers once wrote – ‘Everyone I love is here … all at once …’ – and it feels so good to be sharing tonight with you.

The “Lucky” balloon sign hanging beside the blow-up coffin wine cooler at the bowlo entrance says it all … and it’s not often in life you get to say those words in a sentence …

I’m a lucky woman to have so many wonderful people in my life. My kids, friends, family and partner fill my heart with so much joy.

This party is a chance for me to celebrate the milestone of turning 50 and also to give a little something back to you.

Although I’m not sure the friends who got roped into helping me hang 500 million shamrocks from the ceiling today got the best end of the deal! But I’m incredibly touched that you sweltered in the 35C heat alongside me.

Thank you to everyone who travelled from as far as Hong Kong and Brisbane and Melbourne and Port Stephens to be here tonight.

Thank you to the Rampant Hamsters for reuniting. You were AWESOME! Please don’t wait 25 years to perform again.

And the most massive of thank yous to my amazing sister and brother in law for providing the delicious food by Grilled Gourmet and our fabulous birthday cake.

Have a great time everyone … and in the words on my 13-year-old crush Kevin Bacon … let’s dance!

Most of my favourite moments from the party weren’t captured on film – I’m still devastated we didn’t video the Rampant Hamsters reunion – but a nice young bloke called James took some lovely pics for us and sent them over yesterday, so I’ve grabbed a few to share with you. I haven’t included many guest shots because I know how fussy people are about how they look in photos … I’m in the process of sending out emails with happy snaps in them.


Oh and for anyone after Grilled Gourmet’s details … click here.

I also snitched the lyrics to DD’s reworked version of “Gloria” … He doesn’t write a bad song for someone who left it until midnight the night before the party to turn composer …



She comes around here

About midnight …..

Well actually no – that’s not right !!


She’s more of an early to bed

Early to rise type

(So about 9.30pm)

She’s got a lot going on this single red haired Mum

Taking care of her children Ava and Kai

Running late on the morning school run

Baking cupcakes for the skipping fundraising stall

Music lessons, Band, Art class

She does it all

Walking her dogs – Charlie and Bilbo

And sitting in sister Kathryn’s spa

Sipping pro-secco

Not leaving much time for cleaning

Before her busy day is done


And she writes a Blog called House Goes Home

Spends a lot of time looking at her digital phone

News.com., Facebook, Instagram, Twitter are all in her feed

Being first and funny with the story is one of her needs

Cause she does Social Media for Drinks Trade you know

Traffic clicks and numbers are on the rise

As an ex-editor of Womans Day’s

This should be no surprise


And did somebody say “She also likes to talk”

Chitter chitter chattering, Chitter chitter chattering,

On her night walks

With her friends Fe, Emily and Mel and occasionally Nick

Now walking and talking its great – its really no sin

But I really do hope that her friends manage to manage to get a word in

And did some one say gardening

We no you’d be wrong

But she does like a pump gym class

8am – in the Sunday morning sun

Now in her middle years she’s discovered she really likes a swim

Except she can’t swim so its really a dip

Just don’t mention blue bottles

They’re never a hit

Now there’s a lot of things I need to leave out

Like her love of Kit Kat’s

And did some one say talking?

And bizarre life events like rescuing pigs

There’s never a dull moment with Miss House Goes Home

Especially when she’s not on her digital phone

And now that this soliloquy is almost done

We both really wish you a night of bulk fun

And lets wish Alana a Happy Birthday and

And many more to come ……


And she’ll be round here

Until about mid-night

Cause that’s when the club closes

Thanks everyone

Have a great night

Awwwww …

Anyways … Here are those fave pics …

Song of the day: Bananarama “Venus”

4 thoughts on “What I should have said

Add yours

  1. LOVELY speech, regardless of it being a day late, Alana, and I’m soo jealous that you’ve had a song written about you. Will the lyrics fit on a T-shirt? It was a seriously fabulous party!

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