Stronger than you seem

The past week or so has been pretty challenging. Illness, insomnia, hormones and a few major life events have collided with considerable force.

I can’t blog about the major life events so I’m going to ramble slightly incoherently instead. Here goes …

Quite belatedly, my mind has been blown by A.A. Milne. You don’t expect someone who wrote a book called “Winne the Pooh” to have that such a profound effect on you as an adult. But  I look at some of the quotes from the book now and feel awed by their beauty and wisdom:

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Piglet: “How do you spell love?”
Pooh: “You don’t spell it, you feel it.”

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

“A day spent with you is my favorite day. So today is my new favorite day.”

“As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen.”

“Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.”

Pretty beautiful words, don’t you think?

Love is such a mercurial emotion. It can take you so high and drag you so low … sometimes both at the same time.

That might seem like a contradiction in terms, but my life over the past four years has taught me that it’s perfectly possible to have a heart filled with love and feel totally gutted at the same time.

A.A Milne kinda sums it up in that “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” quote. 

Life has sent me a series of curve balls – it has filled my recent years with more love and heartache than I ever thought possible to co-exist in the same timeline.

And that combination has required me to be far stronger than I ever thought possible.

But I came a little bit undone yesterday. Unfortunately it was smack-bang in the middle of a meeting at work. I am not one for melodramatically running from a room, but I melodramatically ran from a room.

The reason why is a story for another time in the distant future.

For now I am focussed on being the best version of myself that I can be. Yesterday I slipped up. (OK, I often slip up.) Today I will set my shoulders and start over.

Sometimes I wail that life throws me a few too many of those curve balls, but I always feel more lucky than unlucky.

After all, just look at some of the mindblowing things I’ve done in the last few years alone:

And then there’s the stuff I don’t have photos of … like kayaking at Pittwater as dolphins circled my canoe.

And then there are the intangibles, like getting a chance to be in love again in my late 40s, and watching two creatures I grew in my belly gallop towards adulthood.

It’s been wonderful and I know there will be many, many more special moments ahead.

Just gotta get through the rest of this week first.

Song of the day: Kelly Clarkson “Stronger”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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