I’m such a pedantic thing. Stuff must be done a certain way or my head feels like it will explode.
I find change stressful. I like order. I love to plan. I hate being late.
(It’s not old age. I’ve been like it forever.)
There is nothing calm or ordered or planned or early about DD’s life. I have no idea how he stays sane in the maelstrom.
It has been a difficult adjustment, jigsawing my need for certainty with his need for flexibility.
I still struggle with it sometimes.
But there are little routines between us that remain constant.
My favourite is that our days are topped and tailed with contact. We always text each other goodnight, depending on who crashes first. He texts me when he wakes up or as soon as he can depending on kids and work and exercise commitments. Every now and then he gets sidetracked – if I haven’t heard from him by 10am, I’ll fret there’s something wrong and send a message to check he’s OK.
That’s going to be all out of whack for the next week, because he’s at a conference in Chicago. The song and dance of the conference require him to be on the go from 7am in the morning until 10pm at night.
I will miss him.
My ex and I rarely contacted each other when we were apart, other than to sort out logistics. The kids are much the same. I get the occasional text or iPad message from them now they have technology, but they were totally disinterested in getting “goodnight” calls from the absent parent when we first separated.
We persevered for a little while after we broke up before realising they were totally fine with not hearing from the other parent for days. I like to think it means they’re secure in their dual worlds.
I would NOT be OK without contact with DD for days. He left at around lunchtime yesterday, sending a final text as the plane doors were closing and he’s promised to text again this morning when the plane lands.
I’ll be eagerly watching my phone for that belated message.
The time difference will not be my friend over the next week. DD might not even be awake yet when I go to sleep at night. And when I wake up he’ll be in the middle of afternoon conference sessions.
The one constant in our inconstant lives will be missing until next Friday.
But I suppose the upside is that it’s pretty cool to still miss him so much after almost three years together.
Have you ever been to Chicago? Should I tag along with him sometime … when I win the lottery?
Song of the day: The Proclaimers “500 miles”