Accidentally R-rated

An excited little 10-year-old greeted me at the front door on Friday afternoon: her dirdnl had arrived in the post!

If you recall, she’d begged me to order her one for International Day at school. Her classroom is Germany.

She found one for $20 – with free postage – on eBay. I was powerless in the face of her industriousness and determination so I bought two: one for her and her best friend.

She thought all the kid ones on eBay were daggy so we we ordered a size 6 adult one …

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It seemed a bit raunchy on a grown woman, but I figured it would be long and demure on a kid.

The youngest couldn’t wait to show the actual article to me.

“Here’s the dress … Here’s the ribbon to lace it up … Here’s the apron … here’s the headband … But I can’t work out what THIS is for …”

She was holding up a teeny, tiny red satin G-string …

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It would appear I bought my child a dirdnl from a sex shop.

Oops.

As she stood there cluelessly dangling the G-string from her finger I started laughing and laughing and laughing until my stomach hurt.

When I finally calmed down, I explained it was a pair of undies. She looked at it blankly, not quite understanding how it could be undies because it was just bits of elastic and a tiny triangle of satin.

She wanted to know where the string bits went then started wailing “Noooooo, stop, stop …” as I tried to explain between helpless giggles.

I suggested we carefully remove the G-string from the packaging of her best friend’s dirdnl before we gave it to her so I didn’t get a reputation in the neighbourhood.

Oh, what AM I talking about? I already have a reputation. I’m the school mum who gives herself DIY Brazilians and writes about them in graphic detail on her blog.

Still, I think distributing satin g-strings to the local 10-year-olds might not be the best look.

Song of the day: Joan Jett “Bad reputation”

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