Outgoing personality + anxious mind = me

chicken-little (1)

A couple of people shared an article on my Facebook feed yesterday called “12 struggles of having an outgoing personality but an anxious mind.”

It kicked off by saying:

“Outgoing people with anxious minds – or minds that overthink – tend to feel anxiety the most intensely, often because we don’t talk about it. And by “often” I mean never.

“Our anxiety is a contrast to our big, bold personalities. Strangers would never guess it. We never know when to fight or flight, and our self-angst is maxed out. We are often the life of the party but can also be mind-numbingly introspective, questioning everything.”

OK, well I kind of fall down on the never talking about it bit … but the rest of the article had me nodding with recognition at almost every point.

But then a rather odd thought crossed my mind: I didn’t think any of it was unusual. I thought it was completely normal behaviour. I actually commented on the Mummy Haze’s Facebook page: “You mean everyone isn’t like this?”

And then my brain wobbled at the notion that perhaps everyone wasn’t like that.

It kinda messed with my head to think there are people out there who don’twake up in the morning and of course, we are over-thinking everything – Ahhh what did I say to that one person that I’d rather die than act like an idiot in front of? Did I talk too much? And what did they mean by ‘I’ll see you soon?’ What does ‘soon’ even mean? Like soon soon? Or ‘soon’?”

How do they DO that? Gawd it must be peaceful in their heads.

So, give it to me straight …

Are you the person described in the article? Totally? A little bit? Not at all?

Song of the day: Pat Benetar “Anxiety”



12 thoughts on “Outgoing personality + anxious mind = me

  1. I have 100% none of these traits. But then I also have no problem doing absolutely nothing and being calm about it. Is that laziness? Maybe. I think the high achievers in life (like you) are probably all a bit like this article..and they also are the ones that can’t sit and do nothing. But then that’s why they achieve. It’s the anxiety that drives them. But they also seem happy…so how bad is it?

  2. I haven’t read the article yet (I will do) but yes, I’m putting my hand-up. As soon as I saw the title, I knew it was for me. I will read it and get back to you. I have a friend who is similar and when we were younger we used to talk about people we knew who were so lucky they could just fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow, because they weren’t thinking about all the things. When I have anxious thoughts I try to focus on a big picture perspective and I’m getting better at that as I get older. People tell me I should do meditation but I went to one class 20 years ago and was so bored I never went back. I also hate massages for the same reason.

  3. Alana

    It is totally me! I’m talking about it lots now but before my breakdown I didn’t even know or realise that there was a name for what I felt! I just thought it was a really sucky part of life!

    What I’m more surprised by is the fact that all these amazing women that I’ve always admired are just like me! Full of the very same feelings as me!

    Big loves
    Cathy xo

  4. I am in the “little bit” category. From time to time I can over analyse situations but some meditation and a good long run sorts that out. I used to be much more “in my own head” than I am now days although I still have moments. I fundamentally believe that my grey matter is mine and so therefore I can do with it what I will. My thoughts, my choice. If it’s working for you, helping you do what you want/feel you should be doing then it is all good. I just used to find that I was getting in my own way and that is when I worked out that I needed to change. I would miss your daily blogs (and do when you are on hiatus) and I think your active mind is what enables you to write. I work in the space of ’emotional intelligence’ and I can tell you that there is a huge variety in the richness of people’s inner life. HUGE variety. 🙂

  5. I don’t have an outgoing personality but apparently other people see me as self confident and together whereas I feel more like I’m only just managing to hold it together and anxious a lot of the time. I didn’t realise it had a name until menopause hit and I was talking to my dr about it – I just thought I was a sooky lala who let things like making phone calls or talking to people scare me. It’s always good to know that there are others who feel the same.
    Have a wonderful weekend !

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