Bedroom gymnastics are cancelled


I don’t know how I’m going to break the news: bedroom gymnastics have been banned.

The disappointment factor is going to be high.

Remember how I bought the youngest a trapeze for her birthday? The idea was to hang it above her bed. As you do. I’ve also been contemplating slides and swings in the bedrooms. I’m a bit loopy like that.

But my brother-in-law, who handily happens to be a builder, tells me play equipment in the house is a no-go.

He came over yesterday and did his familial duty – cutting down a storm-damaged tree in my backyard and hanging about 10 pictures on my walls. But when it came to the trapeze he shook his head.

Apparently bolting it to the ceiling is a very bad idea. Not because the youngest might break her neck, but because all that bouncing could do major damage to the ceiling.

And that little fantasy scenario bites the dust …

She is going to be SO disappointed.

I’ve been frantically investigating cheap swing sets on the internet. Bunnings has a fetching lime green number for $99. Not quite as much fun since it will be outside, but …

Speaking of fantasies, I’ve also been pondering what I’ll do if I win $1million in the lottery. I actually ran a few of the ideas past DD, who looked a little incredulous that I was discussing imaginary lottery wins with such vigor and certainty.

But that’s the mental space in which I live. It’s quite joyfully optimistic.

I decided if I won I’d upgrade to a lovely house nearby with a pool and other luxuries.

I was dreaming.

When I typed the combined value of my house and my $1million lottery win into only a handful of VERY dodgy search results came up.

Like this one for $2.5million …


Noice … no, actually, are you freaking kidding me?

Mind you – if this Surry Hills house that’s barely wide enough for a queen-sized bed went for almost a mill …


Fark. What is this real-estate-gone-mad world we are living in?

And so, another little fantasy scenario bit the dust.

So, what I’ll actually be doing with my imaginary $1million lottery win is paying off my mortage and putting a pool (and spa!) in the backyard of my current modest hacienda on a very busy road. If I’m lucky there may be a few thousand left to double-glaze the eldest’s bedroom window.


What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

Song of the day: Tom Jones “Kiss”


One thought on “Bedroom gymnastics are cancelled

Add yours

  1. HAH, bloody lotteries…for the umpteenth year in a row, I stumped up my $250 for 3 tickets in the Royal Melbourne Hospital Lottery, with the promise that there is a 1 in 25 chance of winning a prize!

    There was the Early Bird Prize Aston Martin Convertible (a fellow Frankston resident won it!) and the $2.1 million house (of course, I would NEVER expect to win that!), assorted cars and cash prizes, all the way down to $100 gift cards. Some 3,800-odd prizes!

    The winners were drawn a few weeks early because the Lottery was sold out…wow, excitement plus! THREE tickets with a 1 in 25 chance…

    Well, you guessed it…nix, nil, nada, nowt! Not even a miserable $100 Voucher! Crikey, even Mike McColl-Jones won $10,000! Disappointment plus!

    At least I can be happy in the knowledge that some of my money has gone to help the good folk at the Royal Melbourne Hospital.

    Now, where’s my Tattslotto Card? Better get that $8.55 Quick Pick in for Saturday night’s draw! Sighhh!

    My million would buy me an old church somewhere in country Victoria (with an Aston Martin Convertible in the garage!) and I’d live happily ever after.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: