It’s a very tardy blog this morning and I’m blaming it on the pricks.
The kids’ school held a fundraiser last night and I volunteered to help out. My job was supposed to be food and drink set up, but somehow the role morphed into Chief Sausage Pricker.
There were 500 of the slippery bastards to cut from their strings and stab. It took FOREVER.
Afterwards, some “well-meaning” school parents suggested sausage pricking had gone the way of salting eggplant. AKA is no longer necessary. I did NOT need to hear that. When they saw the crestfallen look on my face, they quickly added that I’d obviously done a champion job because none of the snags had split on the BBQ.
Being caught up with my Chief Sausage Pricker role, I let my other responsibilities slide. While I wasn’t watching, the workers unpacked the wrong boxes of soft drink and put them on ice in the school bubblers. This was a minor disaster because you can’t take opened boxes back to IGA for a surplus refund.
Ooooops. They won’t put ME in charge again … phew (I didn’t just say that) …
Sausage pricking is hungry work. And my rubber-gloved hands were slimy with raw meat, so the eldest was assigned feeding duties: popping Goldfish crackers into my mouth in a continuous stream. Not her favourite way to spend an afternoon but preferable to lugging stuff around outside (like the other workers had tried to conscript her into doing).
When she wasn’t popping Goldfish crackers in my mouth she was attempting to take a selfie of me for the blog. Taking an acceptable selfie of me is a haaaaard job because I hate photos of myself so much. It took a very long time and much image manipulation before I finally gave up with a sigh and approved this one …
When all the sausages were pricked I moved onto cashier duty on the BBQ and drink stall. And every single farking person in that line handed me a $50 note. Invariably for a $2 can of drink. Goddamn them.
Obviously they’ve NEVER BOTHERED TO VOLUNTEER AT A SCHOOL FUNDRAISER, otherwise they would KNOW how freaking annoying it is to be given a $50 note and hand back $48 of precious change.
(Note to all those non-volunteers: perhaps your contribution next time could be to BRING SOME CHANGE. Just sayin’ …)
By the time I finished my official duties I was tired and aching (though that may have been my sculpt class in the morning, which cruelly involved rowing machines) and in desperate need of liquid refreshment of the sav blanc kind.
I had perhaps a tad too much liquid refreshment of the sav blanc kind, but fortunately we live a hop, skip and jump from the school (or, as in last night’s case, a fuzzy meander).
Before leaving, I wandered around nattering with half the school. I’m really jazzed to be part of a community. It’s a buzz to be surrounded by hundreds of people and see so many familiar faces. All the smiles, all the laughter, all the animated conversation …
There may have been too many pricks, but I had a bulk fun time anyway.
Song of the day: The Pretenders “Back on the chain gang”