Conflict is NOT my middle name. I’m hopeless at it and prefer to avoid it at all costs.
Are you like that? Or do you enjoy a good stoush?
I’m worried my conflict avoidance is becoming problematic. (And I’m soooooo hyper-sensitive sometimes … though it could be the Mirena talking, if Google mythology is to be believed.)
I’ve always been a little lairy of criticism and perceived slights, but I’m wondering if I’ve gone seriously out of whack.
The things that bring a tear to my eye … even I can see I’m being completely irrational and daft.
It’s like there are all these weird emotional triggers that have been left lying around inside me like rabbit traps, waiting to be set off.
I wonder if it’s something I need to discuss with a professional or whether they will naturally evaporate as the pain of my separation from (ex)Husband subsides?
I’ve been told that conflict is not optional in life. That the only way up and out is work through it.
And it’s true: not telling people when you are hurt or annoyed doesn’t make the situation better. It just makes it worse.
But the thought of engaging in conflict with someone … Well, it makes my chest tight.
Yes, yes, I know. Deciding what to order on a menu makes my chest tight. It’s a very quick detour.
I’m proud of my ability to keep my voice at a normal level, even when I’m in high-stress situations. It’s a rare person who makes me yell. Well, the kids manage it a few times a year, but that’s called motherhood.
My apparent calm made me an easy boss. But did it make me an easy wife? Probably not. In a professional setting I was cool as a cucumber – well, bidding situations in the six figures were a little panic-inducing – personally, however, I’m pretty sure I literally vibrate with unexpressed displeasure.
Surely voicing negative feelings is the healthier way to deal? It might even have saved my marriage.
The mere thought of telling people how I really feel terrifies me. Especially if it’s something negative: I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, I don’t want them to hurt mine.
But better out than in, right?
Song of the day: Crowded House “Mean to me”