No balls

NO BALLS

plural noun

1. “In the sport of cricket a No ball is a penalty against the fielding team, usually as a result of an illegal delivery by the bowler. The delivery of a No ball results in one run – two under some Regulations – to be added to the batting team’s score, and an additional ball must be bowled.” (Wikipedia)

2. “An expression said by a man to another man. Can be said also by a woman to a man, but that is much more rare and weird. Simply, the expression ‘You’ve got no balls’ can stand for:  You have no self-respect, you are a coward, you can’t face your problems like a man, etc.” (Urban Dictionary)

3. The end result of neutering a male dog at sexual maturity. The area around the scrotum is clipped free of hair, an incision is made just in front of the scrotum and both testes are completely removed; this eliminates the source of sperm and also the main source of the male sex hormone, testosterone. (Gladesville Vet)

(I think there are actually some adverbs/adjectives in there but my grammar is shot, especially at this time of the morning.)

Woogworld tells me yesterday was International Day of Happiness. It wasn’t for my poochie-woo, who spent the day getting his nuts removed. The poor little guy had no idea what was in store when I took him walkies.

The vet ran me through the medical form while Charlie sat blithely at my feet, tail wagging madly.

Those medical forms are such a freaking minefield. Do you want to pay $77 to have your dog’s blood tested for genetic diseases? Do you want to pay $100 to have your dog on an intravenous drip for the day? We will need to remove two of his baby teeth … that will be an extra $11 a tooth … Would you like his nails clipped?

After paying the outrageous sum of $400 to have the rabbit neutered and coddled with intravenous fluids (madness) I decided to let Charlie lap from a bowl.

Mean (jobless, single) mummy. Geez  I felt like a heel.

It turned out Charlie needed nine baby teeth removed (the vet’s assistant said he had a mouth like a shark). AND he had an ear infection in BOTH ears. So it cost me $400 anyway. Goddamn.

Charlie looked very, very sad last night with his orange cone. So I let him spend a few hours on the eldest’s bed while she read the latest enormous installment of the Eragon series.

As for the happiness quotient in my life yesterday, I’m kinda with Mrs Woog, who wrote: “I have snippets of happiness all the time. I am trying to tease them out a bit. Being happy stems from being positive. As a person who has allowed way too much negativity to creep into my life over the years, I am conscientiously taking to it with a f#@king massive blow torch.”

She also wrote a list of things that make her happy (we share dumplings, blog writing, wine with school mums, and laughing with mates).

I would add playing music LOUD in the car, cuddling my kiddies at bedtime, chilli crab, peking duck, char kway teow (hmmm, quite a bit of food on this list) dreaming up plans for my future, domain.com.au, walks at dusk and my de-nutted dog.

What’s on your happiness list?

PS Tip: DO NOT Google “no balls” and then click on “images”. There are some things that can never be unseen.

PPS Vet Medicine says male dogs are “much more inclined to stay home and happy when neutered” … I wonder if that applies to male humans, too?

Video of the day, “You could be happy” by Snow Patrol …