Anger management

keep-calm-meme

Yesterday was hard.

I dropped the kids off to Husband for their first overnight stay. Driving them there, I wept silently behind my sunnies. My heart was heavy as I carried their pillows and toothbrushes and clothes and school bags up the stairs to their new second home.

I stared at those naked walls and bare mattresses and hated them for taking my kids from me two nights a week.

I made brief but polite conversation with the stranger who’d been my partner for 23 years, gave my babies a kiss and left. I couldn’t bear to stay, I could barely breathe.

Outside, I cried again. And then I felt a surge of rage. Ugly words filled my head and my fingers itched to translate them into vicious texts.

But lashing out doesn’t do any good.

It doesn’t glue my family back together.

I’m not sure anything can.

Now there’s a scary thought.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Anger management

  1. I think of all the days, that will be the hardest. How I wish I could give you a big, squeezy hug. The love for your family is still there, it’s just shifted and changed. It’s still as strong, just different.

  2. I feel your pain, having experienced the same situation some 15 years ago now. I was blindsided after 19 years of marriage. For me karma stepped in and he lost the best thing that ever happened to us …the kids. As adults now he has no contact with theme and the bitch in me says good, he doesn’t deserve them. In time I hope you will look forward to your child free time, but for now there’s no easy fix. I wish there were.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s