It seems only fair that after reminiscing about Alyssa Milano’s boobs last week, I write a little something for the chicks.
You see, I’ve also seen Hugh Jackman in the nuddy. In real life. Oh yes, I have. And, like Alyssa’s boobs, he was magnificent.
It was during my Cosmopolitan magazine day. He was starring in a movie called Paperback Hero with Claudia Karvan. I interviewed her too at some point, in her apartment in Bondi. But she was fully clothed at the time, so it’s not nearly so pervy as a flashback.
So there I was, sharing a table at Bambini Trust restaurant with a not-yet-hugely-famous Hugh. Interviewing people isn’t my strength, I’m hopeless with questions. I compensate by talking about myself a lot. The celebrities find me endlessly fascinating. Not. It used to make transcribing my tapes quite depressing – I’d frequently discover I hadn’t let the famous person get a word in.
As a result, most of the “interviews” had to be observation pieces about incidents during the interview as opposed to what was said, because I was doing all the talking.
I think that’s why I started blogging. No intelligent questions to ask, just self-absorbed blather.
Anyway, it was a Saturday morning and the restaurant was closed. The owner had trustingly given us the keys so we could do a photo shoot and interview there. Hugh was LOVELY. Totally unassuming. Perfectly happy to change outfits in full view of the entire crew. And that’s how I saw Hugh naked. He stripped off down the back whenever it was time to change outfits. Very obliging.
The photographer was having a VERY bad day – boyfriend break-up or health scare or something. She took a bottle of wine from the bar and guzzled it. Then she opened another. All before 10am. It became increasingly hard for her to focus the camera. Her assistant had to do it for her. Being young and nervous, I decided it was the fashion editor’s job to pull the photographer into line. Except she was young and nervous too. So we both just sat back and watched the drama unfold.
Things went particularly pear-shaped when the photographer slurringly asked Hugh to stare into her lens and “give me that look you get when you’re just about to come.” Everyone in the room froze. Except the photographer, who slugged a bit more wine. Hugh’s eyes went all flinty. He did not give the photographer the look he gets when he’s just about to come. (Pity, I’d have quite liked to see it.) He didn’t say a word.
Then his eyes went all nice and Hughie again, he struck another ultra-professional pose and pretended it hadn’t happened. He didn’t shout: “Oi, useless publicist, get your butt over here and scream at this drunken mess of a photographer. She just asked me to show her my cum face.” Because back then – as he is now – he was a gentleman and a divine human being.
The room gratefully exhaled. Not funny at the time, but it’s provided endless dinner party hilarity for me since.
Sadly, I couldn’t include the incident in my “interview” with him for Cosmo. Didn’t think it would be quite kosher. So heaven knows what I did write, as I’m positive I didn’t ask him a single interesting question. Typical.
Also sadly, I didn’t get myself a Hughie love child out of it, unlike the New York Times entertainment reporter allegedly did with Liam Gallagher (she’s currently stoushing with him in court for child support). Hugh was already totally lovestruck by Debora-Lee by then and I was already dating Husband.
Our stars were destined never to collide. As for naked Hugh in all his mid-30s glory … as an ex-gym instructor he kept himself in pretty good shape. Nothing like the veiny muscle man physique he sports for Wolverine, but pretty six-packy nonetheless.
Delicious, in fact.
PS OK, I just Googled “Hugh Jackman naked” so I could illustrate this … and wow … a lot of people have been very creative in the photoshopping department, as I’m pretty sure Hugh’s never posed with an erect penis and a butt plug. Am I right?