I had the best intentions of cutting the carbs in the lead-up to going
shopping to a wedding in the US next month. But every week I’ve found a new excuse for not doing it. I had the flu (the kind where you retain your appetite), I had the blues (the kind where you retain your appetite), I had my birthday, I had Sprog 2’s birthday …
But everywhere I turn other people are dieting their socks off with raging success and smugness.
If I hear the words Fast Diet or 5-2 Diet ONE MORE TIME I WILL SCREAM. I don’t believe in it. I think it’s dangerous in the wrong hands. Or maybe I’m just violently jealous of every man and his dog going great guns on it.
Same goes for that iphone app that scans barcodes and sets you a 1200-a-day limit on calories. Countless friends are doing that one too and tapping away on their phones when I see them, boasting about shedding 10 kilos in eight weeks.
Damn their willpower, their self-restraint, their resolve. Damn their “it’s not as hard as I thoughts” and their “I don’t even feel hungry anymores”.
Ohhh, I’m damning people again. I must have PMT (already? geez it’s getting closer and closer together as menopause approaches). And there’s another excuse not to go on a diet. Can’t possibly go on a diet when I have PMT. PMT requires too much chocolate (stolen from my children’s pre-Easter supplies) and smoked duck risottos to accommodate a diet.
Are you on a diet? How’s it going? Tell me all about it so I can rant about yours too. Or tell me how dangerous diets are and how it’s much safer to be fat. That would be fun too.