This week’s highs and lows – Oscars glamour to Husband trying to bump me off

This week was MAD. Up and down and sideways crazy.

I kicked it off with horrific PMT – bleakly outlined in Escapee Prawns, Girl Crushes & Dodgy Pelvic Floors with a violent sequel called PMT Doesn’t Exist? Eff That!

I laughed myself silly at a Sunday newspaper article suggesting it was a good idea to choose your children’s friends.

Then I flashed Ava’s birth photo around as part of an amazing iVillage birth photo gallery, putting a few unsuspecting male Facebook friends off their lunch and prompting a mum to comment:  “Leo’s been asking me where the baby comes out… this should sort that out once and for all.”

The post attracted a comment on Mamamia’s Facebook page saying: “Hang on wait ! You said you were showing ” confronting” images of birth. But all I saw was “designed” to be confronting images of a surgical procedure enabling birth.” Sometimes I worry sisterly solidarity is dead.

And then there was the Oscars – frenetically chronicled on Monday night with HouseGoesHollywood: The Oscars Edition Part 1 and Part 2 plus, and HouseGoesHollywood – Oscars party pics, featuring possibly my favourite video EVER – Jack Nicholson hit on Jennifer Lawrence while she was being interviewed on national television.

I wrote about The Female CEO Who’s Banned Mums From Working From Home over at iVillage. It prompted one woman to comment: “Utterly disappointing. Sometimes I think men do in fact make better bosses for female workers. Female bosses just seem to be on a biatch-power trip.”

They Took My Car Away – it got impounded for being unroadworthy, which proved to be a teensy bit tricky when my children have more after-school activities than I’ve had hot dinners. It also prompted numerous blog followers to offer to sell me their cars. I’m not sure their motives were entirely altruistic.

Getting the car unimpounded was rather expensive too, so I spent an eon at a bus stop after a drink with my colleagues. I ended up waiting – with chaining German tourists – for public transport THAT NEVER CAME because I couldn’t afford a cab. And had to pay for a cab in the end anyway. As I waited at the bus stop, I pondered all the big life questions, like “Why I never remember that picking my lipstick off and eating it will make nausea worse … Or that wearing sneakers without socks will make my feet stinky … Or that eating Mars Bar slice for afternoon tea will not lead to weight loss … Or that sparkly nail polish looks like a fun idea but is totally impossible to get off … ”

I wrote about the tragic story of Zahra Baker over at iVillage: “I never got to say goodbye to my daughter. I never even got to say hello.”

I thought Husband was going to bump me off when he crept in to our darkened bedroom wearing rubber gloves, carrying a bucket, trowel, torch, paper towel, disinfectant and a garbage bag.

I reminisced about getting accidentally skinny – and how much praise it got me – in a blog called Everything Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels  over at iVillage.

This hilarious post – When I Have Kids I Will Never … – went totally viral over at iVillage and I spent a lot of time squealing at the Google Analytics figures on my computer screen.

I got an invitation to the most amazing event EVER and boasted about it a lot.

And finally, I made my children cry inconsolably.

How was your week?