Drunk shopping

Did you know Americans spend almost $14 billion a year on “drunk shopping”?

According to Finder.com’s latest consumer research, 17% of respondents admitted they had made purchases under the influence of alcohol in the past 12 months.

Among the top 10 things people drunk shopped for was a holiday. Can you guess where I’m going with this …?

Yup, a few weeks ago I decided to book two cabins on a comedy cruise for myself, the eldest and their bestie. I offered to book a cabin for the youngest as well, but she stared at me in horror, like I’d suggested we fly to Mars.

No doubt many of you reading this blog post share her disdain. My mother said she’d rather have her toenails removed with pliers than step on board.

Anyways …

The problem with drunk shopping is that you don’t always input your details correctly. Yesterday was the final day to pay the balance on top of my non-refundable deposit. When I went online I discovered my cabin was booked in the name of Klkkxrmrfjvuqkq.


I took the dogs for a walk while I waited for the enquiries desk to open for the morning.

I feared it was a bad omen when I returned and heard a loud thump as I opened the door of the apartment block.

A rosella had concussed itself by flying into the eldest’s window.

At around 7.20am I rang the cruise crisis number and got through straight away, which was exciting.

Then I spent the next 80 minutes saying “e for Egypt, a for Africa” over and over and over again to a call centre representative who found my Australian accent unintelligible. That was not exciting at all.

I was put on hold about five times and asked to repeat my “e for Egypt, a for Africa” details 50 gazillion times.

It was deeply frustrating, but I kept my voice cheery, even while repeating my credit card numbers while on the loo when I couldn’t wait any longer.

I checked the confirmation email when I finally got off the phone and it was a dog’s breakfast.

Despite all those “e for Egypts” the “e” was missing from my name, which meant I couldn’t log into the account, the eldest was listed as nine years old and “Master” and his friend was listed as 36 years old rather than 19.


So I had to ring the bloody call centre again.

I think it’s sorted now, but I wouldn’t put money on it. Well, I did put money on it, so hopefully it’s under control.

I’m a little freaked out that I’ve drunk shopped myself onto a comedy cruise, but how bad can three nights at sea be? Stay tuned …

PS The rosella regained consciousness and flew off about two minutes after it fell onto the ledge, so I’m hopeful he’ll make a full recovery.

PPS The main pic is me on my first-ever cruise in my early 20s with my sister and some new friends we made …

PPSS I’ve just been trawling through Facebook and realised the Oscars completely passed me by, oh how far the former gossip magazine queen has fallen out of the loop!

Song of the day: Cyndi Lauper “Time after time”

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