Secret location

I’ve discovered that telling people where you are thinking about buying an apartment is a bit like discussing names you are considering for your baby.

It’s best to keep your mouth shut because they will have lots of opinions and many of them will be negative.

Whereas if you tell them after the fact, they just have to smile and congratulate you.

Lots of people have recoiled in horror when I have mentioned the suburbs that I am considering.

But they may have to suck it up because there’s not a lot of choice out there right now. The media and the Reserve Bank have well and truly scared the bejesus out of everyone.

I’m worried I might not be buying anywhere if Saturday’s meagre selection is anything to go by.

My friends Emily and Fee and DD joined me on my fruitless travels again.

We looked at a penthouse first off, which sounded exciting in the theory but was disappointing in real life. The building seemed a bit badly built and scuzzy and just didn’t appeal to me.

Then we headed to a fancy place with the most INCREDIBLE view of the city and Sydney Harbour Bridge … which is about to be built out by a skyscraper across the road.

Then we looked at a weird townhouse where the first thing you saw as you walked through the front door was a toilet. The cistern and bowl were literally in direct line of sight. It didn’t get much better after that. The fact the attic was the main pic in the sale ad should have been a warning sign.

Then we looked at an apartment with the most gorgeous water views, but it was really expensive, needed new bathrooms and was down a few flights of stairs from the garage, with no shelter from the rain.

Then we popped into the city for some delicious yum cha and went our separate ways. I headed back to the fancy place with the incredible city views to look at another unit for sale next door … and discovered the first unit is clad in flammable materials and will require a massive levy and legal action to fix.

The real estate agent was at pains to say there was no issue with the unit I was looking at, but admitted its views were also going to be totally obstructed by a skyscraper across the road.

I decided to give them both a big miss. Outside the apartment, a crafty real estate agent was handing out business cards for a skyscraper that’s just been erected around the corner which, by the slightly desperate look in his eyes, obviously isn’t selling its socks off. He urged me to call him for a stickybeak on Sunday.

Yeah, nah.

My friend Suse is a buyer’s agent and she reckons avoid anything new with a very big barge pole. In fact she reckons avoid anything less than 10 years old.

I really hope some new stock comes onto the market this week or I will start getting a bit nervous about my potential homelessness …

How was your weekend?

Song of the day: Madonna “Secret”