I did it again

I was so excited about finally getting my hair cut yesterday that I turned up 24 hours early.

Well, that’s what I’m blaming it on, rather than losing my marbles.

I have developed a terrible habit in recent years of getting times and dates wrong. I have a paper diary now to try and avoid it. The paper diary said my hair appointment was on Wednesday, October 27 at 10am.

I somehow read that as Tuesday, October 26.

My hairdresser was very startled when I walked through the door.

There’s an hour of travel time I’ll never get back.

FFS.

You’d think I would learn my lesson and double check, but I still forget.

In my defence, things are a bit crazy busy at the moment. I’m a personal chef on Tuesdays – yesterday’s creations included yellow curry chicken, gnocchi bake and sticky pork mince with noodles. I’m the kids’ taxi service again. I am running the communications for an election campaign, two recruitment companies and a biotech company. I’m writing four to five freelance stories a week. And I am writing daily content for Drinks Digest and HouseGoesHome

It’s a bit bloody hectic, to be honest. And I really could have done with that extra hour in my Tuesday, as I was still at the computer at 9.30pm last night.

I’m surprised I’m not forgetting more than just hair appointments.

I texted DD yesterday and said: “I wish I was back in the Kimberley.”

We didn’t have to remember anything then. The captain just announced everything we needed to know over the loudspeaker. Even knowing the day of the week was irrelevant.

It was so peaceful and relaxing, as you can tell by my zen smile in the main photo on today’s blog post.

One of the stories I’m freelance writing at the moment has involved researching company expectations in job ads. Maybe I’m out of touch, but here’s a random position I saw that’s been advertised as paying $80,000 (which the company regards as “competitive”). It expects:

Responsibilities:

• Provide strategic input into the content strategy and manage the content calendar
• Develop social media content calendars, blog posts and other online content to drive engagement, awareness and KPIs
• Conduct content research
• Write, sub-edit and proofread the company website
• Manage ongoing email marketing including regular newsletters and welcome sequences
• Production of multi-media content including podcast and video
• Generate regular media opportunities and press releases
• Manage brochures & collateral
• Edit, sub-edit, proof and distribute content created by the investment teams
• Measure and report on content metrics
• Help innovate by executing tests and identifying trends and insights to achieve maximum ROI

We are looking for:

A solutions-focused team player with exceptional writing and editing skills.

• At least five years’ experience as a journalist or content professional
• Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing, Journalism, Communications or related field
• Financial Services / Funds Management industry experience preferred
• Proven ability to multitask, prioritise and manage time efficiently
• Creative thinker
• Impeccable attention to detail
• Ability to be autonomous, proactive and plan and manage deadlines
• The ability to translate data into user-friendly information
• Strong interviewing, content research, and communication skills
• Digital literacy, including expertise in social media metrics, search engine optimisation (SEO) and mass email platforms

I’m not entirely sure how I’d feel about being five years out of a three year degree, having all the skills mentioned above and only qualifying for $80,000 in renumeration while living in one of the most expensive cities on earth.

A bloke called Michael O’Donnell wrote on LinkedIn a few years back about ridiculous job ads: “If a candidate had all the qualities you require and could do all the things you expect, he would not be applying for your silly job. He would be sipping cocktails with Sir Richard Branson on his private island.

“Rather than posting a 1,000-word job description filled with gobbledygook, you can save yourself and the one qualifying candidate a lot of time by condensing it into a single sentence: WANTED: Miracle worker; must have red cape and large ‘S” embroidered on chest.“

It’s why I’m sooooooo happy that neither of my children want to be journalists. The pay has become excruciatingly terrible for wizards of the written word. You will miss us when we’ve all left the industry because we can’t afford to put a roof over our heads as professional writers.

You might be thinking $80,000 ain’t too bad. But the average cost of renting a one bedroom unit alone in Sydney is $450-$550 a week. As for having a family to support – it’s estimated that costs around $60,000 a year.

And guess what’s left from a salary of $80,000 after tax is taken out? About $61,000. No wriggle room for unexpected one-off expenses in that.

On that cheery note, I’d better hit the ground running. Coffee is required before the family taxi service begins. Oh, and there’s my haircut, must not forget that!

Song of the day: Madonna “Material Girl”